AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(13): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Thursday, 16.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, for once your dear letter arrived a day late, instead I received a letter from Dr. K[raus] on Tuesday answering my letter of 19.2. It is a good thing that February is over, those people were very stressed with filing taxes, etc. – that’s also how he justifies his late reply. As he wrote that you are informed about everything and that he has sent you a number of copies, I won’t deal further with the contents of his letter to me. Yesterday I gave it to Dietz, so that he can discuss most of the content with him and can then report back about it to me. One matter, about which I immediately contacted the company Zo [?] by phone, as his report that you had received the clearance document for your furniture, and he asked me whether I wanted or was in a position to pay for it. I explained to him that the money was available to him any time (of course he will have to negotiate with the currency exchange office first) and must immediately inform me when he has any information, also from the company Br. and R. because he still has to inquire how much has to be paid. He mentioned ca. 250 Marks – I hope it isn’t much more. I can see, however, that you yourself have contributed to the delay of the matter. First you tormented me for weeks about paying the money for the furniture, for which I had no opportunity however (it is amazing how ignorant you are over there about the circumstances and regulations here), and now you have allowed 2 weeks to pass without informing me what I ought to do. I would of course have instructed Dr. K[raus] to have your furniture released, in which case you might perhaps have had them by 1. April, and for which you are so eager. That appears to be very questionable to me now, although Dr. Kr[aus] is of the opinion that the company can send the furniture as soon as they have the money. For your sake I hope that’s the case. I am glad that you were able to spend a nice evening with F and also that you are now going out more often. The monotonous life you led combined with the heavy load of work does not suit you, and I can also tell from your letters that you are in a better state [of mind] now and not as harassed and upset as you were at first, even though there are quite a few things that seem to depress you now. But that will also be resolved. Ernst St. [Emma’s doctor] was here just now. He looks in on me now every week and regularly prescribes painkillers for me, first Enkodal, today also Optalidon, but unfortunately they no longer help, and I have to suffer the pain and grit my teeth. It is one advantage that the nights are better than the days, and I am able to sleep for a few hours, with sufficient medication, that is. You wanted a report about my condition and you mustn’t have any illusions, just as I no longer have any. Even the nice comforting thought of spring no longer works for me, unless a miracle happened and the growth of the tumour stopped, and I still have a little hope of that coming about. Nevertheless, don’t worry about me, my dear child, you know that I won’t readily throw in the towel and am not easily overcome. The most important thing for me is that you are happy and content, and this is the greatest consolation to me. You know, I overestimated your intelligence! That’s the consequence, that you silly child don’t occupy yourself crossword puzzles and other riddles and did not quite understand the clever riddle I posed you. By the way, letter was once again opened by the customs office “to check on currency exchange”. Have my letters been opened as well? I should have written “Rosenecke” [?] instead of “Hanau” – perhaps you would have understood the riddle a little better then, or perhaps “Tiloit” [?] or something similar. But you did know that L had friends in H[anau]? Well then!! I hope you had good news from Ernst [Margarete’s son], and his finger will soon be healed. Will he get his old job back?  You won’t have such an urgent need for the old fine handkerchiefs, as you write, and you will perhaps soon haven an opportunity to pick them up yourself. One can’t entrust that to another person, or don’t you know that either? In any case they are not that valuable, they won’t make anyone rich. Why would I worry about Kahn [?]? I told you that this business is all the same to me, I don’t even think about such things. Instead, I have a lot of things to do with my administrator and put in order before 1.4. [the date on which an instalment of the wealth tax was due, according to the ordinance of 21 November 1938], we must wait for the decision about the taxes, and other such things. Gustl’s [Auguste, cousin of Emma’s father] affairs are one step further, the day before yesterday their furniture was finally taken away in a small container [?], for which they had to pay a year [in advance] so that it can remain in the duty-free harbour – for first they have to obtain the immigration permit, and during all those preparations things often change completely on account of new regulations, which appear overnight.

            I have to end for today and remain with 1000 kind greetings and kisses,

Your devoted old Mother

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (8): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Saturday, 24.12. 38

My dear Gretel, despite best intentions to write to you yesterday so that you’d have a letter from me tomorrow at any rate, it didn’t work out, and today likewise: It is already after 12 o’clock now that I finally get around to sitting down in peace and writing – for how long, is questionable. Then there is the cold, the coming holidays, and the water shut-down over the holidays (the toilets are, by the way, completely frozen). The cold is too awful – I had endless telephone conversations with three companies – Roller, Liebenot, and Sichel. At first I could reach only Roller, then Andreas, and so forth – I spent almost the whole morning on this matter, and what’s worse, Adelheid [the maid] wasted the whole morning running around because of a packet for Hannah [Gretel’s youngest daughter], the only packet I put together. Yesterday evening she came back with it and brought along a huge number of forms to fill out. And although Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] happened to be here, who has filled out the same forms x-times for Leo and filled them out for me in the same way, everything was still wrong, and Adelheid had to go to the post office three times, because there was always something else that didn’t work out despite help from a gentlemen at the office who supposedly always handled those things. And in addition to this, the frightful cold, the snow which doesn’t stop, it is really awful. I didn’t make any progress yesterday, it was a terrible day for me, nothing but business, in between visitors, a lot of paperwork, presents for Adelheid – in the end I was so tired that after the evening meal I had to rest on the chaise longue until it was time to go to bed, even though I would have liked to go on writing to you. And then I had some joy, although it also brought me worries: a call from Hedda J. who always thinks so lovingly of me. But my worry is about you, my dear child, for I heard that on the day before yesterday in the evening you had quite a head cold, and that you are also suffering cruelly cold weather (but I knew that already), so that even your bathroom was frozen. And I am sorry that you are so alone and therefore have a lot of work and bother. And then there is the insufficiency of your heating, that is, no heating. In that respect I am a little better off with our stoves, which use up a lot of coals (which were hard to get this week because the ships on the Rhine are iced in), but I keep at it all day long, so that it’s moderately warm. Adelheid sleeps in your room now because hers can’t be heated, and in this manner we also heat the back corridor a little bit, although it’s barely noticeable. They ruined the stove in the front corridor on 10. 11. [during Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage], after it had just been repaired a week earlier. Please write immediately how you are and, if you have a cold, stay in bed and look after your health. Someone else must look after your office, or people will have to wait until you are well again. Yesterday morning a wonderful present arrived: a beautiful white bed jacket, sent by Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son, born 1909] (today I received his kind letter), and I “inaugurated” it immediately last night. Give him my heartiest thanks for the time being, I will write to him myself later this week. I hope you were able to be with him and your loved ones during these days. I would be very sorry to think that you are all by yourself. I had chicken yesterday (only because of Adelheid) and today we’ll have a rabbit roast. I invited Jenny [Janny Saarbach, Emma’s sister] to share it, because I want her to have something nice as well. There is a great shortage of things where she is. You can’t get meat at all or hardly ever. That’s why I invite her to a dinner of roast meat most of the time, for which she is very grateful. Imagine I can’t find your last letter, although I looked and looked for it. It got lost under the immense number of papers and letters with which I must deal. I only remember that you wrote about the penalty, that you notified them of your cashed-out pension, but that was not the right thing to do – I know that from Mimi, who also did so at first, but it was not necessary. You never told me what happened to your pension – did they accept your request? You know how much I am interested in that matter – only on your behalf. Yesterday morning I received a letter from Dr. Kraus [Emil Kraus, former mayor of Mainz, now Emma’s legal advisor]. I will copy the contents out for you. You can imagine that his letters made me even more depressed. Soon I won’t know what to do anymore and how I can fulfil all my obligations. You know that I have larger expenses than usual on January 1^st, and this time I have to cash in the last money I still have in the bank to be able to pay for everything – well, things will go on somehow. Last week I had numerous meetings with the administrator [Dietz?] of the house, and it is good that I engaged this man, who is very nice and effective. Paul S. also uses him for his house. According to the letter, I was supposed to have a man assigned by the party, and I am sure this is the better option. D[ietz?] keeps primarily an eye on my interests (but he gets 360 Marks annually). He already had to put in a lot of effort. He wrote letters to all the tenants, which they must sign, and he gave it to each party in person to establish a relationship with them. He also manages the sale of the house, which seems to be more iffy than before (check what Dr. Kr[aus] writes about it). It looks like a mortgage needs to be taken out as security, but it would be painful for me, and I hardly think I have enough left after paying these so-called small sums in cash once again. Do you have any suggestion for that? After all, I repeatedly sent money to you over there. Could you by any chance send me some of it? If not, please give me advice on what to do. I would gladly sell a lot of things, but it can hardly be done, and over the last two months everything has lost value. Tomorrow I will write to Dr. K[raus] and inform him that I would like to make inquiries with B. and R. concerning the 200 Marks. I can’t understand why the furniture is so expensive. I did after all send 150 or 180 Marks to B. because you thought you could get the furniture for that sum, and then I sent a smaller amount in November to Berlin for the same purpose, and now these people demand another 200 Marks. Can that be right? In any case let’s not lose sleep over that and let’s see how everything turns out. I hope my letter finds you in good health, my dear, and that you will write to me soon. I don’t think it’s right for you to send me something, and I hope you haven’t done it yet. I could not send you…anything at all, as I never leave the house now. 1000 greetings, also for Hans and Elsbeth [Gretel’s daughter married to Hans Juda, publishers of the British export magazine “The Ambassador”].

Your devoted Mother  

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT: MORE LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN, 1938

 

This is the continuation of the correspondence between Emma and Gretel. For earlier letters see previous blogposts.

Tuesday, 19.11.38 [Something is wrong with the dating/day of the week; 19 November was a Saturday].

My dear Gretel, don’t hold it against me if I don’t write to you as often as you and I would like, but I don’t get around to anything. There are always people around, I can’t get the glaziers out of the house [During the Nazi rampage of Kristallnacht (9/10 November) windows and mirrors in the house were broken], and there are many others. And from noon on, after my rest, there are almost always visitors, yesterday until 7.30. A little while ago an agent from the insurance company was here with plumbers who turned off the gas meter. At least I still have a stove. Poor Mimi has only gas appliances. But she has her children! Don’t be sorry that you are not here, that is my only consolation: you, Lilly [Emma’s older daughter, Louise (Lilly) Lessing], and the children. As you know [the following is quoted in English]: “Better to sit and watch what may and think thee safe though far away than have thee near me and in danger.” In any case the gas was cut off (at least that’s what I think) because so many people today opt for suicide. Yesterday Lilly of Ingelheim [married to Emma’s nephew, Karl Neumann] was here – she lives with her brother-in-law. What we have to deal with here is child’s play by comparison with what’s going on there and at Babette’s, who also lives with relatives here. You have no idea. I wrote an airmail letter to Lilly, and I am sorry that it will take 8 days for her to hear from me. Karl N[eumann] and his young son went on a “journey” [he and his son Hans were taken to the concentration camp Buchenwald; he died there on 10 April 1944] like a thousand others. Today S. Bl. returned to me the letter and the money. I am supposed to send immediately 23 Marks and 8.75 to the tax office, etc. (the money, however, has been sent on the 5^th of the month). I had L. come here, and he faithfully looked after everything. Adelheid has a lot of work and a lot of running around. I can’t use her for such things. I had Mrs. Pertelan take me to the bank because I am still somewhat weak in my legs, but it would not have been necessary. Why is Jakob not with his father? If you are absolutely sure that I must leave, one could embark on the necessary steps, and then we’ll see. I myself am unable to do anything, nor do I know how to go about it. I have surrendered my passport. [ On Oct. 5, 1938, the Ministry of the Interior invalidated all German Jews’ passports and required them to have a “J” stamped on them]. I haven’t gotten around to request an ID card, which one gets only toward the end of December. I hardly go out anymore, nor is it necessary. I have very many good friends, also of the “other faculty” [i.e. non-Jewish?]. Actually, the action was not aimed at me but, I understand, at Mr. L [Perhaps Ludwig Friedmann, who lived in Emma’s house at 27 Kaiserstrasse, Mainz and died in Auschwitz, 1943] – they were searching for him in the house. It is fortunate that the company name of the new tenant [because his name was not obviously Jewish?] is on the sign at the front gate since the 1^st of the month.

 I must end today’s letter. Have you spoken to Mrs. I., who phoned me before my consultation with you and who wanted to calm you down regarding my situation. Do write to me frequently. I still have my note, which I enclose as my response. Farewell, my dear, good girl, and let me greet and kiss you with all my heart. Your devoted mother, and a thousand greetings for the others.

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT: MORE LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN, 1938

 

A second postcard from Emma Neumann, with the postal stamp “18.11.38”, addressed to her daughter “Frau Prof. Goldstein, 8 Holland Villas Road, London W 14, England.” 

Wednesday.

My dear Gretel, as promised I am writing to you right after the visit of the “uncle” who was here earlier and who had only half an hour for me because today and tomorrow, especially, he has a crazy amount of work to do, and no one has any information. From here he went to P.S. to obtain the necessary things, which he had not sent to him despite his promises, and he will apply himself in the near future to the most urgent matters concerning you and me. To begin with, he noted down the address of that British Ministry of Finance, to find out from them the amount of payment necessary for your furniture [Gretl had furniture shipped to England, which required paying a customs fee]. But all experts declare that no money can be had at all until the house is sold (we are no longer able to get permission to raise a mortgage), and they cannot understand what you have in mind [A decree from October 3, 1938, required the transfer of assets from Jews to non-Jews and controlled the process]. By chance, another gentleman came soon afterwards, about whom I wrote to you earlier. He is necessary for and competent in all sorts of things, since the other man cannot possibly do everything. Tomorrow he will talk once more to someone about the sale of the house, and there is a slight possibility, but we must not have any illusions, and it may be a long, drawn-out matter. And my affairs may take even longer. But there is no hurry in my case… [two illegible words], just don’t burden yourself with too much work. If I had to travel in this weather, it would not be physically possible for me and especially not at this time of the year. About that subject I’ll write to you another time. I had a nice invitation today from L. M. Will you thank him in my name, or do I have to do that myself? Lieschen also asked for your address on behalf of Mariechen, whose husband is on a journey [a euphemism for having fled or having been arrested]. I am sorry that you are importuned by all sorts of people, especially now that you have committed yourself to work [Gretel became Organizing Secretary for the World Union of Progressive Judaism]. Most of all, remain in good health and don’t work so hard, especially in that bad weather! To all of you jointly warmest greetings and kisses!

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

 

#HOLOCAUST VICTIM ANNA ANDORN – DIARY ENTRIES

 

Part IV: 1926-42

1930 – They have given me three weeks’ holidays.  People who can afford it travel to Switzerland, [whereas] I am going to visit my siblings in the Ruhr region.

            I met Vice-principal Maier Andorn.  He is a widower, has three sons.  He made me a marriage proposal.  Now that I have thought it over carefully, I think I will accept.  He is 58 years old, but very sprightly, intelligent and jovial. He is vice-principal in the Jewish school in Dortmund.  I hope however, that we will move to Essen soon after our wedding.

 

1933- I get along well with my husband.  I also have a good, warm relationship with his sons.  Everything would be wonderful if Hitler had not come to power.

 

1937 – Hitler talks of peace every day.  People who hate should never be put into a leading position. They cannot think of brotherly love, the sole principle of peace.

 

1938 – My husband has been [obliged to] retire.  We have moved to Essen and have a very nice house/flat?, almost too big for the two of us, at Moorenstraße 19.  All our friends are emigrating.  Our oldest son has a position as rabbi in Holland.  Berthold and Ludwig have gone to Israel.  The children of my sister Mimi will also leave very soon for Paraguay and the USA .

 

1938 – November.  Why do we have to suffer this?  They set fire to all the synagogues.  All well-known Jews were imprisoned, supposedly to protect them from the fury of the people.  We have to wear the star of David on our clothing and are not allowed to take public transit or sit on park benches.

            Mimi came to us agitated on the night of November 10^th. They had knocked over all the shelves in the shop and had destroyed or just taken all the goods.  Alfred fled in his night-shirt to the Philippusstift [a Catholic clinic].  The nuns put him into a section for contagious diseases.  Apparently, there are still kind people, who are not infected or inflamed with blazing hatred.

            Alfred and Mimi are going to move in with us.  They are too well known in Borbeck and are fearful.  My nephew Walter was arrested by the Gestapo.  But, since he has all the papers to enter a technical school, they released him after a short time, with the proviso that he must leave Germany within 72 hours.

 

1939 – August – My presentiments have not deceived me.  We are at war again; people regard us Jews as allies of the enemies.  How will this end?  We are making a serious effort to emigrate, but the world is closed to us.  We are studying English diligently.

 

1940 – We are going through a terrible time!  Both men are sombre and depressed, but Mimi and I laugh often and sincerely and I am happy that we have not forgotten how to laugh in these terrible times.

 

1941 – We had an air raid alarm.  Everyone ran to the bunker which had been prepared, but we were not allowed to do so.  Food supplies are a slight problem, but there are many good people here who slip us, who wear the star of David, a bit extra!

 

1941 – July – Alfred and Mimi received their immigration papers for the USA.  I will go with them to Berlin.  Surely I can help them with errands.  All our friends congratulate us. Will we too get out of this Nazi mousetrap?  Alfred and Mimi arrived safely in the United States.  Walter picked them up in an American soldier’s uniform.

 

1942 – April – We have been moved here to Holbeckshof and have to live as a group of 15 people in a barrack built to house five war prisoners who were supposed to work here.  Dina Peters and Milli Hüüsken came and brought us all kinds of good food and a bottle of wine.   We used it to organize a real Friday night in our barrack.  This good deed put both women at risk. Thank you so much!

            A week ago my sister Paula Levisohn and her husband, who was the prayer leader in our community, and their daughter were deported to Izbica.  We are here already three weeks, and they say we will be deported soon. 

            We were “shipped” on July 20^th.  In the camp and also at present, I wear my red cross pin -- not to obtain some kind of advantage, but because I notice that my instructions to sick people are followed more readily in this way.  In Bottrop, wearing this pin, I saved the lives of a number of people.  I have stood by so many people in need.  If there is a reward [for doing good], I should come in for it.

Translated from the German by Susi Lessing. The original text is at https://digipres.cjh.org/delivery/DeliveryManagerServlet?dps_pid=IE10164662

 

#HOLOCAUST VICTIM ANNA ANDORN – DIARY ENTRIES

 
Part III:1916-1925

1917 – Yesterday I collapsed [and] fainted at work.  The doctor wants me to take off at least two days.  I have one day behind me already, but I know how urgently I am needed by my brave soldiers.

Mimi has given me two bedsheets.  So, now I have at least material for bandaging.  Mimi and Alfred are going to Berlin next week and will try to have me transferred to a hospital which is better organized.

1917 – They transferred me here to Berlin.  I work every day between eight and ten hours.  In this way I am recovering from the excessive strain. They employ me most often in the children’s clinic.  They know of my previous work.  If only this cruel war were at an end already!

1918 – On October 5^th I received news of my brother Paul being gravely wounded. He is in the military hospital in Bayreuth.  I requested an immediate leave of absence and soon arrived there.  He did not recognize me.  They had amputated both legs in the hope of saving his life in this way.

 He died on October 19^th and my work consisted mainly in transferring the body.  Paul was buried with all the honours of a brave soldier in Bocholt, in the Jewish cemetery.  12 R I R 53 Offiz. St. N.V.L.

1919 –The cruel war ended on November 11. 1918. May the people finally learn to settle their conflicts “in peace.”   Father could not bear the loss of his youngest son.  He died without suffering a lot.

1922- We have had peace for three years now, but the bellicose atmosphere persists.  People blame us, the Jews, for losing the World War.  Walter Rathenau, the man who worked energetically for the reduction of German war debts, was murdered.

1925 – I am here in Zürich, Switzerland, working as a nurse in the Jewish community. My duties are diverse, but satisfy me greatly.   Only at night do I still often think of the terrible time in Bottrop.