Wednesday, 20 December 2023

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (8): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 


Saturday, 24.12. 38

My dear Gretel, despite best intentions to write to you yesterday so that you’d have a letter from me tomorrow at any rate, it didn’t work out, and today likewise: It is already after 12 o’clock now that I finally get around to sitting down in peace and writing – for how long, is questionable. Then there is the cold, the coming holidays, and the water shut-down over the holidays (the toilets are, by the way, completely frozen). The cold is too awful – I had endless telephone conversations with three companies – Roller, Liebenot, and Sichel. At first I could reach only Roller, then Andreas, and so forth – I spent almost the whole morning on this matter, and what’s worse, Adelheid [the maid] wasted the whole morning running around because of a packet for Hannah [Gretel’s youngest daughter], the only packet I put together. Yesterday evening she came back with it and brought along a huge number of forms to fill out. And although Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] happened to be here, who has filled out the same forms x-times for Leo and filled them out for me in the same way, everything was still wrong, and Adelheid had to go to the post office three times, because there was always something else that didn’t work out despite help from a gentlemen at the office who supposedly always handled those things. And in addition to this, the frightful cold, the snow which doesn’t stop, it is really awful. I didn’t make any progress yesterday, it was a terrible day for me, nothing but business, in between visitors, a lot of paperwork, presents for Adelheid – in the end I was so tired that after the evening meal I had to rest on the chaise longue until it was time to go to bed, even though I would have liked to go on writing to you. And then I had some joy, although it also brought me worries: a call from Hedda J. who always thinks so lovingly of me. But my worry is about you, my dear child, for I heard that on the day before yesterday in the evening you had quite a head cold, and that you are also suffering cruelly cold weather (but I knew that already), so that even your bathroom was frozen. And I am sorry that you are so alone and therefore have a lot of work and bother. And then there is the insufficiency of your heating, that is, no heating. In that respect I am a little better off with our stoves, which use up a lot of coals (which were hard to get this week because the ships on the Rhine are iced in), but I keep at it all day long, so that it’s moderately warm. Adelheid sleeps in your room now because hers can’t be heated, and in this manner we also heat the back corridor a little bit, although it’s barely noticeable. They ruined the stove in the front corridor on 10. 11. [during Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage], after it had just been repaired a week earlier. Please write immediately how you are and, if you have a cold, stay in bed and look after your health. Someone else must look after your office, or people will have to wait until you are well again. Yesterday morning a wonderful present arrived: a beautiful white bed jacket, sent by Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son, born 1909] (today I received his kind letter), and I “inaugurated” it immediately last night. Give him my heartiest thanks for the time being, I will write to him myself later this week. I hope you were able to be with him and your loved ones during these days. I would be very sorry to think that you are all by yourself. I had chicken yesterday (only because of Adelheid) and today we’ll have a rabbit roast. I invited Jenny [Janny Saarbach, Emma’s sister] to share it, because I want her to have something nice as well. There is a great shortage of things where she is. You can’t get meat at all or hardly ever. That’s why I invite her to a dinner of roast meat most of the time, for which she is very grateful. Imagine I can’t find your last letter, although I looked and looked for it. It got lost under the immense number of papers and letters with which I must deal. I only remember that you wrote about the penalty, that you notified them of your cashed-out pension, but that was not the right thing to do – I know that from Mimi, who also did so at first, but it was not necessary. You never told me what happened to your pension – did they accept your request? You know how much I am interested in that matter – only on your behalf. Yesterday morning I received a letter from Dr. Kraus [Emil Kraus, former mayor of Mainz, now Emma’s legal advisor]. I will copy the contents out for you. You can imagine that his letters made me even more depressed. Soon I won’t know what to do anymore and how I can fulfil all my obligations. You know that I have larger expenses than usual on January 1st, and this time I have to cash in the last money I still have in the bank to be able to pay for everything – well, things will go on somehow. Last week I had numerous meetings with the administrator [Dietz?] of the house, and it is good that I engaged this man, who is very nice and effective. Paul S. also uses him for his house. According to the letter, I was supposed to have a man assigned by the party, and I am sure this is the better option. D[ietz?] keeps primarily an eye on my interests (but he gets 360 Marks annually). He already had to put in a lot of effort. He wrote letters to all the tenants, which they must sign, and he gave it to each party in person to establish a relationship with them. He also manages the sale of the house, which seems to be more iffy than before (check what Dr. Kr[aus] writes about it). It looks like a mortgage needs to be taken out as security, but it would be painful for me, and I hardly think I have enough left after paying these so-called small sums in cash once again. Do you have any suggestion for that? After all, I repeatedly sent money to you over there. Could you by any chance send me some of it? If not, please give me advice on what to do. I would gladly sell a lot of things, but it can hardly be done, and over the last two months everything has lost value. Tomorrow I will write to Dr. K[raus] and inform him that I would like to make inquiries with B. and R. concerning the 200 Marks. I can’t understand why the furniture is so expensive. I did after all send 150 or 180 Marks to B. because you thought you could get the furniture for that sum, and then I sent a smaller amount in November to Berlin for the same purpose, and now these people demand another 200 Marks. Can that be right? In any case let’s not lose sleep over that and let’s see how everything turns out. I hope my letter finds you in good health, my dear, and that you will write to me soon. I don’t think it’s right for you to send me something, and I hope you haven’t done it yet. I could not send you…anything at all, as I never leave the house now. 1000 greetings, also for Hans and Elsbeth [Gretel’s daughter married to Hans Juda, publishers of the British export magazine “The Ambassador”].

Your devoted Mother  

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.


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