AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(15): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Mainz, 28.3.39

My dear Gretel, thank you for your kind thoughts on this day. Oh, if only I was already out [of this life?] – I long so much for it. But no one asks about [my wishes], one has to suffer to the extreme end! You should know that, and [I am telling you now] only because I hope that it will not take much longer, or I would gladly have spared you for the time being. I suffer all the time, and all your prophesies of [the growth] stopping or similar developments, for which I myself have long waited like for the Messiah, are worth nothing. It would have been better if you had asked your clever physicians about medications that might help against the pain which gets worse with every day. Mind you, there is hardly any medication that Ernst [Emma’s doctor] hasn’t prescribed, who looks after me every week now. And since Saturday I also receive injections, which Sister Maria gives me …[illegible]. They make me very tired without helping me much. Today I went on strike. I wanted to write to you already in the morning while lying down, and after the injections I doze for hours. But today I was too tired, and now after my tea which always makes me feel a little better, I write to you immediately because I don’t know how I will feel over the next days and because I also must write to Lilly [Emma’s daughter in Buenos Aires] these days. I am bound to think a great deal about poor Julius [Gretel’s late husband], how much he had to suffer, how he lost weight and hardly had the will to eat anymore. I too am almost at that stage, for a long time now I have been terribly skinny, and most of the time I have to force myself to eat, but for certain reasons I want to hang on a little longer. But don’t come to me now – apart from the fact that you have no time, I no longer have a bed downstairs. The one upstairs in the attic is wrecked, and I returned Mrs. Achenbach’s bed to her. Gustel [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma’s uncle] is living at Mimi’s [Emma’s sister] now, that poor thing is homeless since Saturday and still has no idea when she can leave and where to go, presumably first to Manchester. It looks like it’s not going to work out in Latvia [where Milly had a textile factory]. Milly stayed at first with Berthe [Bertha Goetz, related to Milly’s husband] in London, and I think, she is also now in Manchester – has she not talked with you? I am sorry that Ernst’s [Gretel’s youngest son] hand is still taking a long time to heal, but I can’t understand it. Your physicians don’t seem to be very skilful. I am surprised that H. wants to build a new future so far away, as she did quite well so far making progress. I am very sorry that now, that you have your furniture, you are not using it and are renting a flat – it’s not about the money that I have to pay (that will happen as soon as Dr. Kraus has permission), but that you have to pay 15 Pounds there now. Surely Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] and Hans [Hans Juda, married to Gretel’s daughter Elsbeth] and Elsbeth too can manage that, and you can repay them later if they are in such need. There are many things in which I don’t understand you. For months you press me about your furniture and when you have it, you make difficulties for yourself. Don’t forget about Liebensteins [Emmas’s neighbours], they would like to know more details about you, and you won’t believe, how uncomfortable I am with that. This week a certain Mrs Lautner [?] was here twice, who wanted to have your address. She referred to a certain Mrs. Altschueler from Kaiserslauten, I believe, whom Julius [Gretel’s late husband] knew very well, and [talked] more such nonsense, and although I was in bed after the second injection, I asked her to come in, so I could [talk to her] myself. I said you are in the process of moving, I did not have an address for you, and why did she need it, etc. Of course it was about Woburn House [Jewish refuge centre aiding German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain], so I quickly got rid of her.  Tomorrow, after 5, I expect [a visit from] a gentleman from the local court for the purpose of a general power of attorney, valid also after my death. [It is] for my administrator, who will come along.  I already…

[The end of this letter is missing. Emma Neuman committed suicide on 3 April, 1939].

For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(13): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Thursday, 16.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, for once your dear letter arrived a day late, instead I received a letter from Dr. K[raus] on Tuesday answering my letter of 19.2. It is a good thing that February is over, those people were very stressed with filing taxes, etc. – that’s also how he justifies his late reply. As he wrote that you are informed about everything and that he has sent you a number of copies, I won’t deal further with the contents of his letter to me. Yesterday I gave it to Dietz, so that he can discuss most of the content with him and can then report back about it to me. One matter, about which I immediately contacted the company Zo [?] by phone, as his report that you had received the clearance document for your furniture, and he asked me whether I wanted or was in a position to pay for it. I explained to him that the money was available to him any time (of course he will have to negotiate with the currency exchange office first) and must immediately inform me when he has any information, also from the company Br. and R. because he still has to inquire how much has to be paid. He mentioned ca. 250 Marks – I hope it isn’t much more. I can see, however, that you yourself have contributed to the delay of the matter. First you tormented me for weeks about paying the money for the furniture, for which I had no opportunity however (it is amazing how ignorant you are over there about the circumstances and regulations here), and now you have allowed 2 weeks to pass without informing me what I ought to do. I would of course have instructed Dr. K[raus] to have your furniture released, in which case you might perhaps have had them by 1. April, and for which you are so eager. That appears to be very questionable to me now, although Dr. Kr[aus] is of the opinion that the company can send the furniture as soon as they have the money. For your sake I hope that’s the case. I am glad that you were able to spend a nice evening with F and also that you are now going out more often. The monotonous life you led combined with the heavy load of work does not suit you, and I can also tell from your letters that you are in a better state [of mind] now and not as harassed and upset as you were at first, even though there are quite a few things that seem to depress you now. But that will also be resolved. Ernst St. [Emma’s doctor] was here just now. He looks in on me now every week and regularly prescribes painkillers for me, first Enkodal, today also Optalidon, but unfortunately they no longer help, and I have to suffer the pain and grit my teeth. It is one advantage that the nights are better than the days, and I am able to sleep for a few hours, with sufficient medication, that is. You wanted a report about my condition and you mustn’t have any illusions, just as I no longer have any. Even the nice comforting thought of spring no longer works for me, unless a miracle happened and the growth of the tumour stopped, and I still have a little hope of that coming about. Nevertheless, don’t worry about me, my dear child, you know that I won’t readily throw in the towel and am not easily overcome. The most important thing for me is that you are happy and content, and this is the greatest consolation to me. You know, I overestimated your intelligence! That’s the consequence, that you silly child don’t occupy yourself crossword puzzles and other riddles and did not quite understand the clever riddle I posed you. By the way, letter was once again opened by the customs office “to check on currency exchange”. Have my letters been opened as well? I should have written “Rosenecke” [?] instead of “Hanau” – perhaps you would have understood the riddle a little better then, or perhaps “Tiloit” [?] or something similar. But you did know that L had friends in H[anau]? Well then!! I hope you had good news from Ernst [Margarete’s son], and his finger will soon be healed. Will he get his old job back?  You won’t have such an urgent need for the old fine handkerchiefs, as you write, and you will perhaps soon haven an opportunity to pick them up yourself. One can’t entrust that to another person, or don’t you know that either? In any case they are not that valuable, they won’t make anyone rich. Why would I worry about Kahn [?]? I told you that this business is all the same to me, I don’t even think about such things. Instead, I have a lot of things to do with my administrator and put in order before 1.4. [the date on which an instalment of the wealth tax was due, according to the ordinance of 21 November 1938], we must wait for the decision about the taxes, and other such things. Gustl’s [Auguste, cousin of Emma’s father] affairs are one step further, the day before yesterday their furniture was finally taken away in a small container [?], for which they had to pay a year [in advance] so that it can remain in the duty-free harbour – for first they have to obtain the immigration permit, and during all those preparations things often change completely on account of new regulations, which appear overnight.

            I have to end for today and remain with 1000 kind greetings and kisses,

Your devoted old Mother

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(11): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

 

Wednesday 1.3. 39

My dear Gretel, although I am rather tired after a bad night, I did finally get up for an hour before the meal at noon, after I had dozed on the chaise longue all morning – if only to work up a little appetite for the meal, to have a little conversation with you, and to answer your dear letter of Sunday. In the meantime, I was glad to have a postcard from Lieschen and find out that she spent an evening with you, and I was happy that you make exceptions [to your routine] and do occasionally spend an evening with others. It is not good at all to be always on your own. Lieselein wrote to Mimi [perhaps Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] that you plan to become independent soon. I suppose that refers only to your intention to rent a small apartment for yourself. Or do you have any other plans? I was glad that you spent an afternoon with Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] and his family once again and I send my heartfelt thanks to him for his kind lines and for the prospect of hearing more of him soon. Yesterday, toward evening, I had a really pleasant surprise: Willichen [?][presumably Willy, Emma’s nephew] came here with his mother [Jenny Saarbach, Emma’s sister]. He arrived yesterday morning, just for the day, and left again yesterday evening, because he will show up on your side within the next few days – finally! It took especially long in his case. Mimi also came right away, and he gave her an apparently good tip for Leo, which goes via Berthe, to whom M[imi?] wanted to write yesterday already on Willy’s instruction.

This morning I did not get around to continue writing because first my tenant, or rather the tenant of Mrs. A [?] came downstairs and brought me a wonderful bouquet of lilacs, then came my administrator with whom I always need to discuss all sorts of things, and as is the case most of the time, it was 2 o’clock until I finally ate. In future I will have even more business with him, and you will as well, because we learned yesterday that from 1 April on the lawyers and trustees are no longer permitted to work for us, so that Dr. K[raus] [former mayor of Mainz, handling Emma’s affairs] will also be history by then. It would be disastrous if this happens before your tax affairs are in order, but Director Dietz believes that you will probably hand over the matter to him. The two gentlemen are well acquainted and on friendly terms with each other, and Mr. D[ietz] is also informed about all these matters through me and through K[raus] – have you heard anything yet about this? I am sorry to hear that Hannah [Gretel’s daughter] is in such pain, I hope she will soon be well again. I am glad that your lecture was a success – a ringing [a pun? The German “ringend” can also mean “clinking”, i.e. monetary] success, yes? As for your readiness to help me, my dear child, I am very grateful for your offer and that you and Lilly [Emma’s daughter, living in Buenos Aires] are willing to look after me here. I would be sorry, however, if that became necessary. So far I still manage quite well, and what is much more important, I think I will be able to pay the two payments [taxes on assets, to be paid in 4 instalments] in May and August without further help. There is a chance that I will be able to pay on 1 April the tax … by 1 February of this year, I will be paid a sum exactly equivalent to this instalment, and the second instalment in August is also taken care of, because I will still be paid 500 Marks out of Lilly’s locked account. In February the Department of Finance in Frankfurt paid the sum directly to the local Department of Finance, but in case I am no longer in a position to do the transaction, it would be a great comfort to know that that money will not be used for other purposes. Now, lets’ hope that I am still around to see 1 April, or the money is lost to us. If I tell you that I do not want to live much longer, you mustn’t hold it against me, my dear Gretel (but keep this confidential), as I have to suffer a great deal of pain, and this will hardly improve, because miracles no longer happen! So far I still have enough courage and the will to go through with it. Nights are usually better than days, they are only occasionally bad, like last night. Ernst [her doctor], who happened to be here yesterday, gives me medications to ease the pain, and I just took a new medication with my tea a little while ago – I hope it works better than the last one. As long as you stay healthy and don’t work so hard, my dear! Indulge yourself occasionally, which you can do with the money you meant for me.

            Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing] is due to come soon and probably also Georgi [probably Georgine Eller, another sister of Emma’s]. She is more frequently with me than before because she has fewer distractions than earlier – neither theatre, nor concerts, nor anything else. You could feel sorry for her and even Gustel [Auguste Gutmann, Ferdinand Gutmann’s wife] commiserates with her. And now goodbye for today, my dear. A[delheid] [Emma’s maid] should take the letter along with her afterwards. Warm greetings and kisses,

Your devoted mother

[on top of first page:] Warm greetings to the children.

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (10): LETTERTO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

16.2. 39

My dear Gretel, now that I have gotten the airmail letter for Lilly’s birthday ready for the mail, it’s your turn, my dear, and first let me confirm receipt of your dear lines of Sunday. But, please, have your secretaries put a new colour ribbon into your typewriter, I have to pour over [your letter] with my weak eyes until I can decipher everything. I am glad that Ernst [Gretel’s youngest son] is doing relatively well. Who knows what attending a technical school for a while will be good for (even if it’s [not good] for your wallet)? Maybe that will advance [his career] and may be closer to his own inclinations.  Chi lo sa? [Who knows?] – I too am always busy and have paperwork and I do a lot myself that would really be Dr. Kr[aus]’ [former mayor of Mainz, managing some of Emma’s affairs] business, for example the tax on assets yesterday [A decree issued in the spring of 1938 forced Jews to declare assets over 5,000 Marks and pay 20% taxes on them in 4 instalments]. I had all sorts of correspondence with the Mitteld[eutsche] Kreditbank in Frankfurt with respect to the blocked account of Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter, now living in Buenos Aires], which is now a great blessing for me. I didn’t want to delay the matter, which would have happened with Dr. K. because these people have a crazy workload, especially this month, and so I managed the obtain confirmation from the bank in Frankfurt almost 8 days ago that they have sent my instalment to the Department of Finance. And I am all the more pleased because Dr. Kr[aus] charged me 25 Marks for his work on the first instalment, and this time I saved that amount. In addition I have a lot of preliminary work to do with the tax declaration and am now waiting for Dir[ector] Dietz, who was unfortunately sick at the end of last month. But he promised me this morning on the phone that he would come tomorrow morning because I had received from the district court a letter concerning the instalments, which must be answered. And so almost every day brings something new, and most of the time nothing useful. In the afternoon I almost always have visitors, such as an improvised tea with Mrs. Drexelius, who succeeded Miss Stockmann on the 4^th [floor], and in addition Bab. and H.D. [?]. then also Georgi and Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing], and with those two I played Rommé, as usual, until about 7.30. It is touching how Bab. and her husband are looking after me, [bringing me] things that can’t be obtained easily here or can’t be obtained at all, and [their care] makes me very glad. Do send greetings to B. occasionally [in your letter], she has of course asked me to greet you many times, and she often pours her heart out to me because she and her husband are forced to stay with relatives until they get lucky and can go to their children, first to Fritz in Lfr [?] And then to Anny, who lives near Rolf. This afternoon I expect Paul M[eyer] [a relative, Gustel Gutmann’s brother]  because I have a letter for him from Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter], which she sent to my address because she does not know his new address and thinks Gustel has already departed, but Gustel has still problems with the clearance connected with the house, the mortgage, and similar matters [Gustel eventually fled to Riga, where she was murdered]. C’est toujours la même chose [It’s always the same thing]. Lieschen’s family (6 persons) intend to sail to Canada on the 24^th of this month. An old friend of the late Mr. R. has made it possible for them all to come. I hope Karl will soon find suitable work; he is intelligent after all, and the boys (the oldest is 18 years old) can also do something. Lieschen thinks only of her obligation to watch out and take care of them all, and she is very courageous, considering the continual pain in her feet. Anna G. [Gustel’s daughter[ who visited me the day before yesterday, has a chance to go to Warrington near Manchester as a nurse – they are short of nurses in England, they say. And now don’t be alarmed: Heddel [Emma’s niece, daughter of August Saarbach and Johanna Gutmann] has given up her job because (she says) she cannot tolerate the sea climate, but also (as Anna said) because she had such a terribly small room in which one couldn’t see anything without light, even during the day. And now she has accepted a job with a lady who lives alone with her 18-year-old son. She is half an hour from London, so one fine day she is likely to appear at your place, although she does not have your address from me. But I bet she’ll find it out! Aenny [?], who has been for some months in Switzerland – in Ascona, and lately in Locarno – is not permitted to stay any longer. She too wants to go to England, probably with the help of Heddel, and (don’t laugh!) she wants to take a position as maid. You will laugh even harder when you hear that Aenny [?] (according to a report from Willy [Emma’s nephew, son of Jenny Saarbach] to his mother) earned some 70 Marks/month with short stories and the like, which allowed her to do quite well there.

Yesterday evening Lotte arrived with Juliane. They had several wardrobes and cabinets full of stuff at Lisbeth’s, which they wanted to pick up. Before she starts on her position as maid over there [in England], she will probably marry her friend, who is however a lawyer and is not likely to have many [job] opportunities. On Sunday morning I had a visit from Mrs. Wolf of Oberstein, who had already once asked her daughter in D. to convey greetings to me from…[name omitted], and I was very glad of her visit. She told me all sorts of interesting things. She had talked to you formerly, only on the telephone. I was in the middle of writing this morning, when my administrator came and stayed some two hours, as usual. First we dealt with the business of the savings account, about which I had just written a letter, and then with the tax declaration [of assets over 5000 Marks] – Mr. D[ietz] thought that could be done in a quarter hour. Hah! That declaration is so complicated this year, that no one can quite understand it and even he had to peruse each point [?] a long time. So now I have a lot of writing to do again before he comes back the day after tomorrow with the tax forms, which he unfortunately did not have with him. And tomorrow Adelheid [Emma’s maid] has to fetch a copy of the tax form from elsewhere, so I can copy it out, since he himself gives me only notes – I have to write everything myself. Today I will…[end of sentence missing]

Greetings to all

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT. LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN, 1938

The Leo Baeck Institute, New York, has in its archive a collection of letters dating from 1938/9, a precarious time for German Jews. The writer is Emma Neumann, née Gutmann, of Mainz. The addressee is her daughter, Margarete (Gretel) Goldstein, née Neumann, who has escaped to England. The correspondence illustrates Margarete’s unsuccessful attempts to arrange for her mother’s passage to England and the increasing harassment and persecution Jews suffered in Nazi Germany during 1938/9. The earliest item in the correspondence is a postcard addressed from Emma to Gretel in London. The postal stamp “12.11.38” shows that it was written two days after Kristallnacht (literally “The Night of Crystal”). The name refers to the shards of glass littering the streets after an organized Nazi rampage, which resulted in the destruction of numerous Jewish establishments. 

 My dear Gretel, I would have liked to write earlier, but I was in no condition to do so, although I am fortunately unhurt, and that is the main thing. I am camping out in the backroom, where it is quite cozy, I receive visitors there, etc. and have even managed to sleep well. Thursday was not a good day, but it is over now. I felt like Hannibal in the ruins of Carthage [referring to the defeat of the African general Hannibal by the ancient Romans in 202 BC]. My rooms in the front are gradually being restored to order. It is a lot of work for Adelheid [Emma’s maid?], but she had help yesterday, and I had various, quite capable workmen who put all sorts of things in order again. The glaziers, mainly, had a lot to do, and then there was also your postal order. I will see to it that the payment is sent today, but please don’t cause me a lot of work. I can’t manage to think of anything. I have to stop writing – massive numbers of visitors, Babettchen [unidentified] has just come, Lene (?) Hasch (?). etc. Bab[ettchen] stayed here, could not remain in Oe. 1000 greetings and kisses, Your devoted mother. Greetings to all. 

 FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.