AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (7): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Margarete Goldstein and Milly

 

28 November 1938

My dear Gretel,

The 4 o’clock mail brought me your two loving greetings of Friday and Saturday, and they gave me a lot of joy, especially your suggestion that I should live with you, although that places a heavy burden on you, my poor girl. Although I know how nice and kind Wolfgang is [Gretel’s oldest son], as are the others [Gretel’s three other children?] – the thought of tying my life to that of young people, no matter how willing they are to sacrifice and even if I were to give up everything that an old-fashioned woman is accustomed to – that idea, I must admit, would be hard for me to get used to. As you yourself write (and as I fear as well), it would be too busy for me there, and I am so used to peace and quiet, and also need it.

I would certainly not trouble you and I would certainly make an effort not to disturb you, according to the saying “laisser allez, laisser faire” [leave it, let it be] But the great trouble that I would cause you and the others weighs heavily on me, and I am constantly asking myself whether it is still worthwhile doing. Still, I agree with everything you tell me and suggest to me, and hopefully I will still be able to undertake such a journey. As for what you write about the house, I don’t care. A little earlier I also called Paul [Paul Mayer, brother of Auguste  (Gustel) Gutmann, a relative  of Emma’s] who, however, is unable and unwilling  to look after anything and will stop [working] any day now. He merely wants to hand over your letter and the power of attorney and (I assume) all of the documents to Dr. K [Dr. Emil Kraus, former mayor of Mainz] whom I went to see on Friday morning. I tentatively discussed everything with him in brief, and as I have difficulties getting to [his office], which he understands, he promised to come this week to see me because he wants to look into taxes and other matters that need to be considered.  After I had already talked to Dr. L [unidentified] earlier, I called him, Dr. K., once again to ask him to come by soon to discuss matters mentioned in your letter, which has just arrived, and he promised to come by on Wednesday afternoon. I hope he will come. You have no idea how much in demand these people are and, as he told me, there are only three men here who can look after us, he being one of them [the Law of Restoration (1933) removed Jews from government services; in 1936 Jews were forbidden to serve as tax consultants, and as of November 12, 1938 Jews were not allowed to own businesses].  I cannot understand that you haven’t heard from Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter in Buenos Aires] for so long. She wrote to me a while ago and now again tells me in an airmail letter that you were so kind to write to her and inform her of everything and she also wrote to you immediately – probably already for a second time – you might therefore receive both letters together.  I am very happy that you found a job that suits you. Regrettably it does not bring any income [Gretel did charitable work], but that will hopefully happen soon.

There is no need for me to get used to your distances, my dear child, because the signs of old age become more noticeable every day. I will barely be able to get out of the house.  Therefore, it would be best if you left me here where I practically don’t go out anymore. Day before yesterday I talked with Mimi [perhaps Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing]  and Guste [see above]  about all the items you say I should take along. Also with regard to underwear and what I need to keep me warm. And yet, I immediately said: “But I will be taking my nightgowns!” G[uste] wanted to get some pants for me today, but wasn’t able to get any, so she brought me some Tricot [stretchy fabric] of hers or from Milly [Amalie Schwarz, née Gutmann], 5 pieces that I will probably use. She also bought me material for a good dress that I would have needed here as well and which I will have made soon. I will take overcoats, I mean my two old winter coats and two others, which will be sufficient for me.  I shouldn’t spend too much since I have to make sure I have money for all kinds of larger expenses. But I will talk about all that with the man in question who himself also made me aware of so many things that have to be done.  For example, I have already made a list of the things I plan to take with me, and he will look after all that as well.

You write about an electric heater in your office. Is there no heating? And what is the current, I mean, the voltage there? I have an electric heater that I could bring with me.  I will of course bring my heat pad and my reading lamp for the night table, or would you like my pretty night table lamp for yourself?

I don’t blame you if you don’t write to Heddel [Hedwig Saarbach, Emma’s niece, daughter of her sister Johanna (Jenny) Gutmann], as I did not do it either, for the same reason. If she ever inquires, [we can say that] this particular letter with the enclosure was lost.

29. 10.

I couldn’t continue writing before going to bed yesterday because A. sat here and babbled incessantly. Today there isn’t much more to say either, let’s wait and see what happens next. The address you want is: Dr. Kraus, Gutenbergplatz 1.  He is the former mayor, and still a highly valued and powerful man. But I think it is better if you wait with writing to him until after his visit here tomorrow.  After talking to him I might be able to tell you some of the things you want to know.  These men receive a lot of written inquiries. During his last visit here, S.L. was rather indignant about the many letters, and referred openly to your last letter.  One day you should show him little Ernst’s enclosure [probably Grete’s youngest son, born in 1918] – “little” refers to former times. I find it sweet. I am just looking at Lilly’s [Emma’s oldest daughter] letters, which I have still to answer.  She wrote on 20.10 that she had received a long letter from you the previous day, and that she would reply to it, addressing it to Hannah [Grete’s daughter, born 1912]. And in the airmail dated the 16^th of this month, after the affair [referring to Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage aimed at Jews], she asks “What do you hear from Gretal? I haven’t heard anything. I hope she is doing well.”

For today, 1000 heartfelt hugs and kisses from you loyal M[other].

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT: MORE LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN, 1938

 

This is the continuation of the correspondence between Emma and Gretel. For earlier letters see previous blogposts.

Tuesday, 19.11.38 [Something is wrong with the dating/day of the week; 19 November was a Saturday].

My dear Gretel, don’t hold it against me if I don’t write to you as often as you and I would like, but I don’t get around to anything. There are always people around, I can’t get the glaziers out of the house [During the Nazi rampage of Kristallnacht (9/10 November) windows and mirrors in the house were broken], and there are many others. And from noon on, after my rest, there are almost always visitors, yesterday until 7.30. A little while ago an agent from the insurance company was here with plumbers who turned off the gas meter. At least I still have a stove. Poor Mimi has only gas appliances. But she has her children! Don’t be sorry that you are not here, that is my only consolation: you, Lilly [Emma’s older daughter, Louise (Lilly) Lessing], and the children. As you know [the following is quoted in English]: “Better to sit and watch what may and think thee safe though far away than have thee near me and in danger.” In any case the gas was cut off (at least that’s what I think) because so many people today opt for suicide. Yesterday Lilly of Ingelheim [married to Emma’s nephew, Karl Neumann] was here – she lives with her brother-in-law. What we have to deal with here is child’s play by comparison with what’s going on there and at Babette’s, who also lives with relatives here. You have no idea. I wrote an airmail letter to Lilly, and I am sorry that it will take 8 days for her to hear from me. Karl N[eumann] and his young son went on a “journey” [he and his son Hans were taken to the concentration camp Buchenwald; he died there on 10 April 1944] like a thousand others. Today S. Bl. returned to me the letter and the money. I am supposed to send immediately 23 Marks and 8.75 to the tax office, etc. (the money, however, has been sent on the 5^th of the month). I had L. come here, and he faithfully looked after everything. Adelheid has a lot of work and a lot of running around. I can’t use her for such things. I had Mrs. Pertelan take me to the bank because I am still somewhat weak in my legs, but it would not have been necessary. Why is Jakob not with his father? If you are absolutely sure that I must leave, one could embark on the necessary steps, and then we’ll see. I myself am unable to do anything, nor do I know how to go about it. I have surrendered my passport. [ On Oct. 5, 1938, the Ministry of the Interior invalidated all German Jews’ passports and required them to have a “J” stamped on them]. I haven’t gotten around to request an ID card, which one gets only toward the end of December. I hardly go out anymore, nor is it necessary. I have very many good friends, also of the “other faculty” [i.e. non-Jewish?]. Actually, the action was not aimed at me but, I understand, at Mr. L [Perhaps Ludwig Friedmann, who lived in Emma’s house at 27 Kaiserstrasse, Mainz and died in Auschwitz, 1943] – they were searching for him in the house. It is fortunate that the company name of the new tenant [because his name was not obviously Jewish?] is on the sign at the front gate since the 1^st of the month.

 I must end today’s letter. Have you spoken to Mrs. I., who phoned me before my consultation with you and who wanted to calm you down regarding my situation. Do write to me frequently. I still have my note, which I enclose as my response. Farewell, my dear, good girl, and let me greet and kiss you with all my heart. Your devoted mother, and a thousand greetings for the others.

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.