AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(15): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Mainz, 28.3.39

My dear Gretel, thank you for your kind thoughts on this day. Oh, if only I was already out [of this life?] – I long so much for it. But no one asks about [my wishes], one has to suffer to the extreme end! You should know that, and [I am telling you now] only because I hope that it will not take much longer, or I would gladly have spared you for the time being. I suffer all the time, and all your prophesies of [the growth] stopping or similar developments, for which I myself have long waited like for the Messiah, are worth nothing. It would have been better if you had asked your clever physicians about medications that might help against the pain which gets worse with every day. Mind you, there is hardly any medication that Ernst [Emma’s doctor] hasn’t prescribed, who looks after me every week now. And since Saturday I also receive injections, which Sister Maria gives me …[illegible]. They make me very tired without helping me much. Today I went on strike. I wanted to write to you already in the morning while lying down, and after the injections I doze for hours. But today I was too tired, and now after my tea which always makes me feel a little better, I write to you immediately because I don’t know how I will feel over the next days and because I also must write to Lilly [Emma’s daughter in Buenos Aires] these days. I am bound to think a great deal about poor Julius [Gretel’s late husband], how much he had to suffer, how he lost weight and hardly had the will to eat anymore. I too am almost at that stage, for a long time now I have been terribly skinny, and most of the time I have to force myself to eat, but for certain reasons I want to hang on a little longer. But don’t come to me now – apart from the fact that you have no time, I no longer have a bed downstairs. The one upstairs in the attic is wrecked, and I returned Mrs. Achenbach’s bed to her. Gustel [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma’s uncle] is living at Mimi’s [Emma’s sister] now, that poor thing is homeless since Saturday and still has no idea when she can leave and where to go, presumably first to Manchester. It looks like it’s not going to work out in Latvia [where Milly had a textile factory]. Milly stayed at first with Berthe [Bertha Goetz, related to Milly’s husband] in London, and I think, she is also now in Manchester – has she not talked with you? I am sorry that Ernst’s [Gretel’s youngest son] hand is still taking a long time to heal, but I can’t understand it. Your physicians don’t seem to be very skilful. I am surprised that H. wants to build a new future so far away, as she did quite well so far making progress. I am very sorry that now, that you have your furniture, you are not using it and are renting a flat – it’s not about the money that I have to pay (that will happen as soon as Dr. Kraus has permission), but that you have to pay 15 Pounds there now. Surely Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] and Hans [Hans Juda, married to Gretel’s daughter Elsbeth] and Elsbeth too can manage that, and you can repay them later if they are in such need. There are many things in which I don’t understand you. For months you press me about your furniture and when you have it, you make difficulties for yourself. Don’t forget about Liebensteins [Emmas’s neighbours], they would like to know more details about you, and you won’t believe, how uncomfortable I am with that. This week a certain Mrs Lautner [?] was here twice, who wanted to have your address. She referred to a certain Mrs. Altschueler from Kaiserslauten, I believe, whom Julius [Gretel’s late husband] knew very well, and [talked] more such nonsense, and although I was in bed after the second injection, I asked her to come in, so I could [talk to her] myself. I said you are in the process of moving, I did not have an address for you, and why did she need it, etc. Of course it was about Woburn House [Jewish refuge centre aiding German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain], so I quickly got rid of her.  Tomorrow, after 5, I expect [a visit from] a gentleman from the local court for the purpose of a general power of attorney, valid also after my death. [It is] for my administrator, who will come along.  I already…

[The end of this letter is missing. Emma Neuman committed suicide on 3 April, 1939].

For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(14): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

 22.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, I just settled down to write to you, that is, stretched out on the chaise longue, as I always do in the morning -- earlier I had called Dr. Kr[aus], unfortunately to no purpose because you always tell me half of everything or less than half -- when Mrs. Liebenstein [Emma’s neighbour] arrived for a lengthy visit. She too had nothing pleasant to tell me. First about Dr. Kr[aus]: You tell me that your furniture is now at customs, for which I was very glad. As you write that everything is working out once I pay, I waited until this morning for a call from Dr. K. telling me to send the money. Then I called him myself, so I could write about it to you, and heard to my surprise that I need not look after anything, that you knew everything from him, from Br. and Roth etc., also the main thing – that the 15 Pounds must be paid there in foreign currency, as for sending the money to the company one first needs permission from the foreign currency office. Dr. K. is of the opinion, which I second, that it cannot be very difficult for you to have someone there pay the 80 Marks or lend them to you. Is Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] not able to do so, or Turk [?] or whoever else there may be? And I cannot understand that you cannot find sufficient time for yourself, to rent a flat. After all that is also important, and mainly, let me advise you not to rent just a place for the summer now that it will soon be warm weather, but rather to think of winter, so that you will have a warm and comfortable place by then. You know how bad this winter was, and we had snow until yesterday and very cold temperatures. Mrs. Liebenstein was very indignant – I promised to report it to you. She wrote to you twice in five months, always with return postage, and you remained mum (she said). She has a very rich brother in Lugano [?], who will give full guarantees for her, and they also want to go to England and would like to know how much money they have to deposit and for how many years. I promised to write that to you, and perhaps you could write to her directly at Kaiserstasse 41 or write to me, and she will pick up the answer in eight days. It would be best if you told her about the office where she needs to apply. If you could do so, I personally would like it if you took care of her a little. She was not wrong to say: if one lives 30 years in a house, well, etc. To get back to your office affairs, may I ask: What do you mean when you say “Tell Oppenh[eimer] and the other relatives that I have nothing at all to do with Wob[urn] House”? [Woburn House was the Jewish Refugee Centre helping German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain.] I know that very well and haven’t been asked for your address or anything else in a long time. Who is Oppenheimer? As far as I remember…Marianne [?] asked for your address. Are the Webers finally leaving you in peace? I haven’t heard from them in a long time. Mar.’s principle is to write to us only when she wants something, and Lilly v H [i.e. from Hanau?] didn’t even think of visiting me. Some time ago I wrote to you “I bet you ten to one, that you won’t guess who visited me” – since it is a riddle, put a “Dr.” in front, and you’ll solve it. That Lilly has an acquaintance in Hanau, you know as well as I do, you silly girl! Did you not at the time take my silverware along? [A decree of Feb 21 1939 required Jews to turn in gold, silver, and other valuables to the state without compensation.]  Otherwise, I don’t understand your doubts. Adele visited me yesterday morning and told me much that was of interest. After years of hesitation on B’s part, she and B intend to visit your hospitable island, but how long will it take [to realize that]? T. Georgi was here just now for an hour in the morning and brought me a very kind letter from Irmgard and a piece of Prinzregenten cake from the birthday [celebration]. Lieschen arrived safely in C[anada] with her party of five. Now, after my tea, I am sitting once again at my desk, expecting Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] shortly, perhaps also Guste [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma's uncle] and am sending you, my dear child, 1000 heartfelt greetings and kisses for today. Your devoted mother.

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(13): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Thursday, 16.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, for once your dear letter arrived a day late, instead I received a letter from Dr. K[raus] on Tuesday answering my letter of 19.2. It is a good thing that February is over, those people were very stressed with filing taxes, etc. – that’s also how he justifies his late reply. As he wrote that you are informed about everything and that he has sent you a number of copies, I won’t deal further with the contents of his letter to me. Yesterday I gave it to Dietz, so that he can discuss most of the content with him and can then report back about it to me. One matter, about which I immediately contacted the company Zo [?] by phone, as his report that you had received the clearance document for your furniture, and he asked me whether I wanted or was in a position to pay for it. I explained to him that the money was available to him any time (of course he will have to negotiate with the currency exchange office first) and must immediately inform me when he has any information, also from the company Br. and R. because he still has to inquire how much has to be paid. He mentioned ca. 250 Marks – I hope it isn’t much more. I can see, however, that you yourself have contributed to the delay of the matter. First you tormented me for weeks about paying the money for the furniture, for which I had no opportunity however (it is amazing how ignorant you are over there about the circumstances and regulations here), and now you have allowed 2 weeks to pass without informing me what I ought to do. I would of course have instructed Dr. K[raus] to have your furniture released, in which case you might perhaps have had them by 1. April, and for which you are so eager. That appears to be very questionable to me now, although Dr. Kr[aus] is of the opinion that the company can send the furniture as soon as they have the money. For your sake I hope that’s the case. I am glad that you were able to spend a nice evening with F and also that you are now going out more often. The monotonous life you led combined with the heavy load of work does not suit you, and I can also tell from your letters that you are in a better state [of mind] now and not as harassed and upset as you were at first, even though there are quite a few things that seem to depress you now. But that will also be resolved. Ernst St. [Emma’s doctor] was here just now. He looks in on me now every week and regularly prescribes painkillers for me, first Enkodal, today also Optalidon, but unfortunately they no longer help, and I have to suffer the pain and grit my teeth. It is one advantage that the nights are better than the days, and I am able to sleep for a few hours, with sufficient medication, that is. You wanted a report about my condition and you mustn’t have any illusions, just as I no longer have any. Even the nice comforting thought of spring no longer works for me, unless a miracle happened and the growth of the tumour stopped, and I still have a little hope of that coming about. Nevertheless, don’t worry about me, my dear child, you know that I won’t readily throw in the towel and am not easily overcome. The most important thing for me is that you are happy and content, and this is the greatest consolation to me. You know, I overestimated your intelligence! That’s the consequence, that you silly child don’t occupy yourself crossword puzzles and other riddles and did not quite understand the clever riddle I posed you. By the way, letter was once again opened by the customs office “to check on currency exchange”. Have my letters been opened as well? I should have written “Rosenecke” [?] instead of “Hanau” – perhaps you would have understood the riddle a little better then, or perhaps “Tiloit” [?] or something similar. But you did know that L had friends in H[anau]? Well then!! I hope you had good news from Ernst [Margarete’s son], and his finger will soon be healed. Will he get his old job back?  You won’t have such an urgent need for the old fine handkerchiefs, as you write, and you will perhaps soon haven an opportunity to pick them up yourself. One can’t entrust that to another person, or don’t you know that either? In any case they are not that valuable, they won’t make anyone rich. Why would I worry about Kahn [?]? I told you that this business is all the same to me, I don’t even think about such things. Instead, I have a lot of things to do with my administrator and put in order before 1.4. [the date on which an instalment of the wealth tax was due, according to the ordinance of 21 November 1938], we must wait for the decision about the taxes, and other such things. Gustl’s [Auguste, cousin of Emma’s father] affairs are one step further, the day before yesterday their furniture was finally taken away in a small container [?], for which they had to pay a year [in advance] so that it can remain in the duty-free harbour – for first they have to obtain the immigration permit, and during all those preparations things often change completely on account of new regulations, which appear overnight.

            I have to end for today and remain with 1000 kind greetings and kisses,

Your devoted old Mother

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (10): LETTERTO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

16.2. 39

My dear Gretel, now that I have gotten the airmail letter for Lilly’s birthday ready for the mail, it’s your turn, my dear, and first let me confirm receipt of your dear lines of Sunday. But, please, have your secretaries put a new colour ribbon into your typewriter, I have to pour over [your letter] with my weak eyes until I can decipher everything. I am glad that Ernst [Gretel’s youngest son] is doing relatively well. Who knows what attending a technical school for a while will be good for (even if it’s [not good] for your wallet)? Maybe that will advance [his career] and may be closer to his own inclinations.  Chi lo sa? [Who knows?] – I too am always busy and have paperwork and I do a lot myself that would really be Dr. Kr[aus]’ [former mayor of Mainz, managing some of Emma’s affairs] business, for example the tax on assets yesterday [A decree issued in the spring of 1938 forced Jews to declare assets over 5,000 Marks and pay 20% taxes on them in 4 instalments]. I had all sorts of correspondence with the Mitteld[eutsche] Kreditbank in Frankfurt with respect to the blocked account of Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter, now living in Buenos Aires], which is now a great blessing for me. I didn’t want to delay the matter, which would have happened with Dr. K. because these people have a crazy workload, especially this month, and so I managed the obtain confirmation from the bank in Frankfurt almost 8 days ago that they have sent my instalment to the Department of Finance. And I am all the more pleased because Dr. Kr[aus] charged me 25 Marks for his work on the first instalment, and this time I saved that amount. In addition I have a lot of preliminary work to do with the tax declaration and am now waiting for Dir[ector] Dietz, who was unfortunately sick at the end of last month. But he promised me this morning on the phone that he would come tomorrow morning because I had received from the district court a letter concerning the instalments, which must be answered. And so almost every day brings something new, and most of the time nothing useful. In the afternoon I almost always have visitors, such as an improvised tea with Mrs. Drexelius, who succeeded Miss Stockmann on the 4^th [floor], and in addition Bab. and H.D. [?]. then also Georgi and Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing], and with those two I played Rommé, as usual, until about 7.30. It is touching how Bab. and her husband are looking after me, [bringing me] things that can’t be obtained easily here or can’t be obtained at all, and [their care] makes me very glad. Do send greetings to B. occasionally [in your letter], she has of course asked me to greet you many times, and she often pours her heart out to me because she and her husband are forced to stay with relatives until they get lucky and can go to their children, first to Fritz in Lfr [?] And then to Anny, who lives near Rolf. This afternoon I expect Paul M[eyer] [a relative, Gustel Gutmann’s brother]  because I have a letter for him from Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter], which she sent to my address because she does not know his new address and thinks Gustel has already departed, but Gustel has still problems with the clearance connected with the house, the mortgage, and similar matters [Gustel eventually fled to Riga, where she was murdered]. C’est toujours la même chose [It’s always the same thing]. Lieschen’s family (6 persons) intend to sail to Canada on the 24^th of this month. An old friend of the late Mr. R. has made it possible for them all to come. I hope Karl will soon find suitable work; he is intelligent after all, and the boys (the oldest is 18 years old) can also do something. Lieschen thinks only of her obligation to watch out and take care of them all, and she is very courageous, considering the continual pain in her feet. Anna G. [Gustel’s daughter[ who visited me the day before yesterday, has a chance to go to Warrington near Manchester as a nurse – they are short of nurses in England, they say. And now don’t be alarmed: Heddel [Emma’s niece, daughter of August Saarbach and Johanna Gutmann] has given up her job because (she says) she cannot tolerate the sea climate, but also (as Anna said) because she had such a terribly small room in which one couldn’t see anything without light, even during the day. And now she has accepted a job with a lady who lives alone with her 18-year-old son. She is half an hour from London, so one fine day she is likely to appear at your place, although she does not have your address from me. But I bet she’ll find it out! Aenny [?], who has been for some months in Switzerland – in Ascona, and lately in Locarno – is not permitted to stay any longer. She too wants to go to England, probably with the help of Heddel, and (don’t laugh!) she wants to take a position as maid. You will laugh even harder when you hear that Aenny [?] (according to a report from Willy [Emma’s nephew, son of Jenny Saarbach] to his mother) earned some 70 Marks/month with short stories and the like, which allowed her to do quite well there.

Yesterday evening Lotte arrived with Juliane. They had several wardrobes and cabinets full of stuff at Lisbeth’s, which they wanted to pick up. Before she starts on her position as maid over there [in England], she will probably marry her friend, who is however a lawyer and is not likely to have many [job] opportunities. On Sunday morning I had a visit from Mrs. Wolf of Oberstein, who had already once asked her daughter in D. to convey greetings to me from…[name omitted], and I was very glad of her visit. She told me all sorts of interesting things. She had talked to you formerly, only on the telephone. I was in the middle of writing this morning, when my administrator came and stayed some two hours, as usual. First we dealt with the business of the savings account, about which I had just written a letter, and then with the tax declaration [of assets over 5000 Marks] – Mr. D[ietz] thought that could be done in a quarter hour. Hah! That declaration is so complicated this year, that no one can quite understand it and even he had to peruse each point [?] a long time. So now I have a lot of writing to do again before he comes back the day after tomorrow with the tax forms, which he unfortunately did not have with him. And tomorrow Adelheid [Emma’s maid] has to fetch a copy of the tax form from elsewhere, so I can copy it out, since he himself gives me only notes – I have to write everything myself. Today I will…[end of sentence missing]

Greetings to all

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER @KRISTALLNACHT (9): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

7.2. 1939

My dear Gretel, because I want to enclose a few lines to dear Ernst [Gretel’s youngest son], whose letter I greatly enjoyed, I right away answer your letter of Sunday which arrived today. I’m just glad that the problem with his finger isn’t that bad, as you describe it, and that he has already returned to his work on Thursday. So, he told me a fib? I hope not. I am sorry that you have a sore throat once again and in addition a problem with your stupid knees, and I hope that this will soon improve and you will be well again all round. I suppose that this has to do with your stupid climate, where neuralgic and rheumatic pain is common, I am sure, but let me tell you of a cheap remedy which is just as effective as Gelonida neuralgica, which Ernst [her doctor] wanted to give me last week, but I told him it was too expensive. Then he immediately said I could just as well use Contraneural. (Why do local physicians always prescribe the most expensive medication first?) Some time ago I took the first medication on his advice, and it was of no use at all, whereas last week I took Contraneural for two days and felt its good effect and actually am still feeling less pain, at least not as intensive pain. Yet this medication is only 1.05 Marks for 20 tablets – so try it out! How much work you have made for yourself with your invitation and cooking! But if it gives you joy, you were right to do it. I myself would certainly have indulged in a different kind of entertainment! Were [your guests] acquaintances of old? Little Nicole appears to be a true wunderkind – I have never heard of a child of 4 and half years getting her second set of teeth – that was quite a rattling of teeth, wasn’t it? I was also glad that you finally had time again to be with Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son]; it is really too bad that you and the people closest to you see so little of each other – so near and yet so far! At noon yesterday I had to write a long letter to my administrator Dietz about that stupid business of [obtaining] a mortgage. Unfortunately he has been sick for a week. … had a business consultant from Baden-Baden write a rather urgent letter to me, which I received on Sunday and immediately sent on to Dietz, who in turn phoned me twice about it yesterday. This matter will be decided in court, and for this purpose I need to supply all sorts of information, which my administrator will use. It is a very stupid affair. And you always write in such a daft manner about money matters, for example today: “So they have to take out a mortgage, if there is no cash” – “if” can only mean “because” or do you suppose that I am keeping money in an old stocking? I really don’t understand your ideas about this whole matter. I assume, if one has to take out a mortgage, a forced auction cannot be far behind, because where am I to get the money to pay for the interest? Even if you think I “mustn’t worry about it”, it’s not easy for me to cope because I face these questions and negotiations too often and too much. On the other hand, I don’t want to take them too seriously and often tell myself: there are things that are much worse. – Yesterday morning I kept working long past the midday meal: I covered my warm woollen [house]shoes, which are a little worn, with old black Atlas [a silk fabric], and lo and behold, the result was excellent. In former times I often embroidered slippers, so that I still remembered the pattern very well. I just had to make a paper pattern first. “So it’s bound to come again!” [lyrics?] – [by] Ivanzelona [?]? Otherwise nothing much has happened to me. On Sunday Lenny shared my midday meal, and Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing] joined us as well. She brought [woollen] hats from Lisbeth. Later Georgi also joined us, because we wanted to talk to Jenny about her birthday presents. Her birthday is on Saturday, the 12^th of this month. She will be 76 years old, and perhaps you can send her a postcard, if possible. – Strange: I called Dr. Kraus some two hours ago and asked his office to return my tax assessment concerning the second instalment of the capital levy, and just now I get a letter from Dr. K[raus] with the tax assessment enclosed, and a bill from him for 83.50 Marks, of which 25 Marks are for his consultation and work on Jewish asset release, etc., including 8.50 for tax on documents for Mrs. Margarete G[oldstein]. In addition he writes the following: “Retroactively, and to keep things orderly, I confirm [receipt of] 36.30 Marks for income tax and notary fees for Mrs. Goldstein. In the meantime I had to pay another 8.50 Marks tax on documents for transferring the power of attorney and so I must ask you to send me this amount together with the amount of the invoice.” Furthermore he writes: “Unfortunately I can make no headway in the matter of your daughter. On 16 January 1939 I wrote once again in detail to the Department of Finance and repeatedly asked to be informed in what form the Jewish tax on assets must be secured through landed property. So far I have received no answer whatsoever and will follow up again today. Mr. Singer and your daughter are informed about my efforts.”  The letter, by the way, is dated 3.2. It was probably in the hands of other people – one can see that the envelope has been opened, and the letter arrived finally today, apparently coming from the post office to me. It was addressed to Kőnigstrasse 72 instead of 27. I will see that Dr. K[raus] is paid today.

Now we’ll eat the midday meal – we’ll have potato soup…[illegible] there was rice…[illegible] there were crepes with apple compote, although that’s not certain, I didn’t follow up and ask if A. brought apples along. My dining room is now quite nicely furnished as “waiting room.” All my love and all the best, my dear child, and a 1000 kisses from your mother.

Heartfelt greetings to W’s and Judas [Gretel’s daughter was married to Hans Juda].

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (8): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Saturday, 24.12. 38

My dear Gretel, despite best intentions to write to you yesterday so that you’d have a letter from me tomorrow at any rate, it didn’t work out, and today likewise: It is already after 12 o’clock now that I finally get around to sitting down in peace and writing – for how long, is questionable. Then there is the cold, the coming holidays, and the water shut-down over the holidays (the toilets are, by the way, completely frozen). The cold is too awful – I had endless telephone conversations with three companies – Roller, Liebenot, and Sichel. At first I could reach only Roller, then Andreas, and so forth – I spent almost the whole morning on this matter, and what’s worse, Adelheid [the maid] wasted the whole morning running around because of a packet for Hannah [Gretel’s youngest daughter], the only packet I put together. Yesterday evening she came back with it and brought along a huge number of forms to fill out. And although Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] happened to be here, who has filled out the same forms x-times for Leo and filled them out for me in the same way, everything was still wrong, and Adelheid had to go to the post office three times, because there was always something else that didn’t work out despite help from a gentlemen at the office who supposedly always handled those things. And in addition to this, the frightful cold, the snow which doesn’t stop, it is really awful. I didn’t make any progress yesterday, it was a terrible day for me, nothing but business, in between visitors, a lot of paperwork, presents for Adelheid – in the end I was so tired that after the evening meal I had to rest on the chaise longue until it was time to go to bed, even though I would have liked to go on writing to you. And then I had some joy, although it also brought me worries: a call from Hedda J. who always thinks so lovingly of me. But my worry is about you, my dear child, for I heard that on the day before yesterday in the evening you had quite a head cold, and that you are also suffering cruelly cold weather (but I knew that already), so that even your bathroom was frozen. And I am sorry that you are so alone and therefore have a lot of work and bother. And then there is the insufficiency of your heating, that is, no heating. In that respect I am a little better off with our stoves, which use up a lot of coals (which were hard to get this week because the ships on the Rhine are iced in), but I keep at it all day long, so that it’s moderately warm. Adelheid sleeps in your room now because hers can’t be heated, and in this manner we also heat the back corridor a little bit, although it’s barely noticeable. They ruined the stove in the front corridor on 10. 11. [during Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage], after it had just been repaired a week earlier. Please write immediately how you are and, if you have a cold, stay in bed and look after your health. Someone else must look after your office, or people will have to wait until you are well again. Yesterday morning a wonderful present arrived: a beautiful white bed jacket, sent by Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son, born 1909] (today I received his kind letter), and I “inaugurated” it immediately last night. Give him my heartiest thanks for the time being, I will write to him myself later this week. I hope you were able to be with him and your loved ones during these days. I would be very sorry to think that you are all by yourself. I had chicken yesterday (only because of Adelheid) and today we’ll have a rabbit roast. I invited Jenny [Janny Saarbach, Emma’s sister] to share it, because I want her to have something nice as well. There is a great shortage of things where she is. You can’t get meat at all or hardly ever. That’s why I invite her to a dinner of roast meat most of the time, for which she is very grateful. Imagine I can’t find your last letter, although I looked and looked for it. It got lost under the immense number of papers and letters with which I must deal. I only remember that you wrote about the penalty, that you notified them of your cashed-out pension, but that was not the right thing to do – I know that from Mimi, who also did so at first, but it was not necessary. You never told me what happened to your pension – did they accept your request? You know how much I am interested in that matter – only on your behalf. Yesterday morning I received a letter from Dr. Kraus [Emil Kraus, former mayor of Mainz, now Emma’s legal advisor]. I will copy the contents out for you. You can imagine that his letters made me even more depressed. Soon I won’t know what to do anymore and how I can fulfil all my obligations. You know that I have larger expenses than usual on January 1^st, and this time I have to cash in the last money I still have in the bank to be able to pay for everything – well, things will go on somehow. Last week I had numerous meetings with the administrator [Dietz?] of the house, and it is good that I engaged this man, who is very nice and effective. Paul S. also uses him for his house. According to the letter, I was supposed to have a man assigned by the party, and I am sure this is the better option. D[ietz?] keeps primarily an eye on my interests (but he gets 360 Marks annually). He already had to put in a lot of effort. He wrote letters to all the tenants, which they must sign, and he gave it to each party in person to establish a relationship with them. He also manages the sale of the house, which seems to be more iffy than before (check what Dr. Kr[aus] writes about it). It looks like a mortgage needs to be taken out as security, but it would be painful for me, and I hardly think I have enough left after paying these so-called small sums in cash once again. Do you have any suggestion for that? After all, I repeatedly sent money to you over there. Could you by any chance send me some of it? If not, please give me advice on what to do. I would gladly sell a lot of things, but it can hardly be done, and over the last two months everything has lost value. Tomorrow I will write to Dr. K[raus] and inform him that I would like to make inquiries with B. and R. concerning the 200 Marks. I can’t understand why the furniture is so expensive. I did after all send 150 or 180 Marks to B. because you thought you could get the furniture for that sum, and then I sent a smaller amount in November to Berlin for the same purpose, and now these people demand another 200 Marks. Can that be right? In any case let’s not lose sleep over that and let’s see how everything turns out. I hope my letter finds you in good health, my dear, and that you will write to me soon. I don’t think it’s right for you to send me something, and I hope you haven’t done it yet. I could not send you…anything at all, as I never leave the house now. 1000 greetings, also for Hans and Elsbeth [Gretel’s daughter married to Hans Juda, publishers of the British export magazine “The Ambassador”].

Your devoted Mother  

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (5): MORE LETTERS TO MAGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

The Leo Baeck Institute, New York, has in its archive a collection of letters dating from 1938/9, a precarious time for German Jews. The writer is Emma Neumann, née Gutmann, of Mainz. The addressee is her daughter, Margarete (Gretel) Goldstein, née Neumann, who has escaped to England. The correspondence illustrates Margarete’s unsuccessful attempts to arrange for her mother’s passage to England and the increasing harassment and persecution Jews suffered in Nazi Germany during 1938/9.

This is the 5^th instalment. For earlier letters see my previous postings.

 

 22.11.38

Tuesday

My dear Gretel, many thanks for your kind postcards. I am always glad to hear from you, and we don’t have to write to each other so frequently now – we don’t want to enrich the post office. You need no longer worry about my health now, since you have also been told by others how I fare. Te [?] has also written to you. She was here yesterday, but she has come every day from the beginning. They are the best and most touching people I know, indeed the best there are. Yesterday morning I also had the pleasure to receive a packet from L [Lilly Lessing, Emma’s older daughter]. It was addressed to W, and I give heart-felt thanks to the gracious donor. In addition, I thank the other dear people there, who make efforts on my behalf. But tell me how you envisage my future and where? I am of course content with the tiniest place offered to me and certainly won’t make any demands, but there a thousand things that have to be considered and discussed first. Obviously, I can’t arrive with just my toothbrush, and I think I could manage to travel, like you, with only a minimum of furniture and other things. I will ask Camilla [unidentified] to come in the near future – right now I always have so many visitors and there are all sorts of things to be done in the house. You won’t believe how nice it looks here again, at least in the living room. Certain things are still missing in the bedroom to make me comfortable, but it will all come about gradually without me spending too much money. It’s not worth it anymore – in no respect. Did I write to you that D. [unidentified] and his wife were here on Saturday to send greetings to Lilly. I think I did. We have had terrible storms and rain over the past two days, so that of course I did not dare go out into the street.

            23. 11. I continue writing today because it occurred to me that a long letter is on the way to you and because I also wanted to get out a calming letter to Lilly, who worries more than is necessary because of my illness. In the meantime (this morning) I received, in addition to a very kind and sympathetic letter from Mrs. Aah [? Unidentified], your kind postcard of yesterday – your mail system is very prompt and that gives me great joy. You have become a complete chef and are moving from one “post” to the next. But I suppose it pleases you and the others to apply your skills. We had terribly stormy weather over the last few days, so that on the day before yesterday the electricity was off from time to time. I had no visitors on that day except Ad[ele? – her maid], which was fine with me because I have to catch up on many things in writing and never had enough time for it. Yesterday Mimi [perhaps Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] was here again and toward evening a very charming lady came, who conveyed kind greetings from children and grandchildren, which was a great pleasure – also her kind offer, of which luckily I did not need to make use. It seems that people there are under a completely wrong impression. My advice is not to spend anything on me and to save the small supply for more dire times, which may come. I mean times in other surroundings – hopefully, the money will be sufficient for here. I arranged to see friend P. [unidentified] this afternoon or tomorrow morning. So you see that I do not want to leave anything undone. I am very stupid in such things and must be told by others what needs to happen, even if others do all sorts of things for me.

            Now I must make an end for today and want to tell you all how nice it is of you to look forward to my coming (although there is really no reason for that), and I send you all –young and old – the most heart-felt greetings and kisses, especially to my “miserable” child who bears the main blame in this matter, and without whom I would hardly have said yes.

            All my love.

            The old woman

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.