THE TREE AND HALF OF ME

 

L.A. 2024 AND ME

 

Anatsui at the Broad

At the back of LACMA

Me "seeing" the solar eclipse in LA

                                                    Iconic me in front of iconic LACMA installation

at *hAUSER & WIRTH: NOT A QUILT

 

AND ANOTHER KIND OF "QUILT" AT THE #BROAD:

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(15): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Mainz, 28.3.39

My dear Gretel, thank you for your kind thoughts on this day. Oh, if only I was already out [of this life?] – I long so much for it. But no one asks about [my wishes], one has to suffer to the extreme end! You should know that, and [I am telling you now] only because I hope that it will not take much longer, or I would gladly have spared you for the time being. I suffer all the time, and all your prophesies of [the growth] stopping or similar developments, for which I myself have long waited like for the Messiah, are worth nothing. It would have been better if you had asked your clever physicians about medications that might help against the pain which gets worse with every day. Mind you, there is hardly any medication that Ernst [Emma’s doctor] hasn’t prescribed, who looks after me every week now. And since Saturday I also receive injections, which Sister Maria gives me …[illegible]. They make me very tired without helping me much. Today I went on strike. I wanted to write to you already in the morning while lying down, and after the injections I doze for hours. But today I was too tired, and now after my tea which always makes me feel a little better, I write to you immediately because I don’t know how I will feel over the next days and because I also must write to Lilly [Emma’s daughter in Buenos Aires] these days. I am bound to think a great deal about poor Julius [Gretel’s late husband], how much he had to suffer, how he lost weight and hardly had the will to eat anymore. I too am almost at that stage, for a long time now I have been terribly skinny, and most of the time I have to force myself to eat, but for certain reasons I want to hang on a little longer. But don’t come to me now – apart from the fact that you have no time, I no longer have a bed downstairs. The one upstairs in the attic is wrecked, and I returned Mrs. Achenbach’s bed to her. Gustel [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma’s uncle] is living at Mimi’s [Emma’s sister] now, that poor thing is homeless since Saturday and still has no idea when she can leave and where to go, presumably first to Manchester. It looks like it’s not going to work out in Latvia [where Milly had a textile factory]. Milly stayed at first with Berthe [Bertha Goetz, related to Milly’s husband] in London, and I think, she is also now in Manchester – has she not talked with you? I am sorry that Ernst’s [Gretel’s youngest son] hand is still taking a long time to heal, but I can’t understand it. Your physicians don’t seem to be very skilful. I am surprised that H. wants to build a new future so far away, as she did quite well so far making progress. I am very sorry that now, that you have your furniture, you are not using it and are renting a flat – it’s not about the money that I have to pay (that will happen as soon as Dr. Kraus has permission), but that you have to pay 15 Pounds there now. Surely Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] and Hans [Hans Juda, married to Gretel’s daughter Elsbeth] and Elsbeth too can manage that, and you can repay them later if they are in such need. There are many things in which I don’t understand you. For months you press me about your furniture and when you have it, you make difficulties for yourself. Don’t forget about Liebensteins [Emmas’s neighbours], they would like to know more details about you, and you won’t believe, how uncomfortable I am with that. This week a certain Mrs Lautner [?] was here twice, who wanted to have your address. She referred to a certain Mrs. Altschueler from Kaiserslauten, I believe, whom Julius [Gretel’s late husband] knew very well, and [talked] more such nonsense, and although I was in bed after the second injection, I asked her to come in, so I could [talk to her] myself. I said you are in the process of moving, I did not have an address for you, and why did she need it, etc. Of course it was about Woburn House [Jewish refuge centre aiding German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain], so I quickly got rid of her.  Tomorrow, after 5, I expect [a visit from] a gentleman from the local court for the purpose of a general power of attorney, valid also after my death. [It is] for my administrator, who will come along.  I already…

[The end of this letter is missing. Emma Neuman committed suicide on 3 April, 1939].

For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(14): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

 22.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, I just settled down to write to you, that is, stretched out on the chaise longue, as I always do in the morning -- earlier I had called Dr. Kr[aus], unfortunately to no purpose because you always tell me half of everything or less than half -- when Mrs. Liebenstein [Emma’s neighbour] arrived for a lengthy visit. She too had nothing pleasant to tell me. First about Dr. Kr[aus]: You tell me that your furniture is now at customs, for which I was very glad. As you write that everything is working out once I pay, I waited until this morning for a call from Dr. K. telling me to send the money. Then I called him myself, so I could write about it to you, and heard to my surprise that I need not look after anything, that you knew everything from him, from Br. and Roth etc., also the main thing – that the 15 Pounds must be paid there in foreign currency, as for sending the money to the company one first needs permission from the foreign currency office. Dr. K. is of the opinion, which I second, that it cannot be very difficult for you to have someone there pay the 80 Marks or lend them to you. Is Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] not able to do so, or Turk [?] or whoever else there may be? And I cannot understand that you cannot find sufficient time for yourself, to rent a flat. After all that is also important, and mainly, let me advise you not to rent just a place for the summer now that it will soon be warm weather, but rather to think of winter, so that you will have a warm and comfortable place by then. You know how bad this winter was, and we had snow until yesterday and very cold temperatures. Mrs. Liebenstein was very indignant – I promised to report it to you. She wrote to you twice in five months, always with return postage, and you remained mum (she said). She has a very rich brother in Lugano [?], who will give full guarantees for her, and they also want to go to England and would like to know how much money they have to deposit and for how many years. I promised to write that to you, and perhaps you could write to her directly at Kaiserstasse 41 or write to me, and she will pick up the answer in eight days. It would be best if you told her about the office where she needs to apply. If you could do so, I personally would like it if you took care of her a little. She was not wrong to say: if one lives 30 years in a house, well, etc. To get back to your office affairs, may I ask: What do you mean when you say “Tell Oppenh[eimer] and the other relatives that I have nothing at all to do with Wob[urn] House”? [Woburn House was the Jewish Refugee Centre helping German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain.] I know that very well and haven’t been asked for your address or anything else in a long time. Who is Oppenheimer? As far as I remember…Marianne [?] asked for your address. Are the Webers finally leaving you in peace? I haven’t heard from them in a long time. Mar.’s principle is to write to us only when she wants something, and Lilly v H [i.e. from Hanau?] didn’t even think of visiting me. Some time ago I wrote to you “I bet you ten to one, that you won’t guess who visited me” – since it is a riddle, put a “Dr.” in front, and you’ll solve it. That Lilly has an acquaintance in Hanau, you know as well as I do, you silly girl! Did you not at the time take my silverware along? [A decree of Feb 21 1939 required Jews to turn in gold, silver, and other valuables to the state without compensation.]  Otherwise, I don’t understand your doubts. Adele visited me yesterday morning and told me much that was of interest. After years of hesitation on B’s part, she and B intend to visit your hospitable island, but how long will it take [to realize that]? T. Georgi was here just now for an hour in the morning and brought me a very kind letter from Irmgard and a piece of Prinzregenten cake from the birthday [celebration]. Lieschen arrived safely in C[anada] with her party of five. Now, after my tea, I am sitting once again at my desk, expecting Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] shortly, perhaps also Guste [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma's uncle] and am sending you, my dear child, 1000 heartfelt greetings and kisses for today. Your devoted mother.

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(13): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Thursday, 16.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, for once your dear letter arrived a day late, instead I received a letter from Dr. K[raus] on Tuesday answering my letter of 19.2. It is a good thing that February is over, those people were very stressed with filing taxes, etc. – that’s also how he justifies his late reply. As he wrote that you are informed about everything and that he has sent you a number of copies, I won’t deal further with the contents of his letter to me. Yesterday I gave it to Dietz, so that he can discuss most of the content with him and can then report back about it to me. One matter, about which I immediately contacted the company Zo [?] by phone, as his report that you had received the clearance document for your furniture, and he asked me whether I wanted or was in a position to pay for it. I explained to him that the money was available to him any time (of course he will have to negotiate with the currency exchange office first) and must immediately inform me when he has any information, also from the company Br. and R. because he still has to inquire how much has to be paid. He mentioned ca. 250 Marks – I hope it isn’t much more. I can see, however, that you yourself have contributed to the delay of the matter. First you tormented me for weeks about paying the money for the furniture, for which I had no opportunity however (it is amazing how ignorant you are over there about the circumstances and regulations here), and now you have allowed 2 weeks to pass without informing me what I ought to do. I would of course have instructed Dr. K[raus] to have your furniture released, in which case you might perhaps have had them by 1. April, and for which you are so eager. That appears to be very questionable to me now, although Dr. Kr[aus] is of the opinion that the company can send the furniture as soon as they have the money. For your sake I hope that’s the case. I am glad that you were able to spend a nice evening with F and also that you are now going out more often. The monotonous life you led combined with the heavy load of work does not suit you, and I can also tell from your letters that you are in a better state [of mind] now and not as harassed and upset as you were at first, even though there are quite a few things that seem to depress you now. But that will also be resolved. Ernst St. [Emma’s doctor] was here just now. He looks in on me now every week and regularly prescribes painkillers for me, first Enkodal, today also Optalidon, but unfortunately they no longer help, and I have to suffer the pain and grit my teeth. It is one advantage that the nights are better than the days, and I am able to sleep for a few hours, with sufficient medication, that is. You wanted a report about my condition and you mustn’t have any illusions, just as I no longer have any. Even the nice comforting thought of spring no longer works for me, unless a miracle happened and the growth of the tumour stopped, and I still have a little hope of that coming about. Nevertheless, don’t worry about me, my dear child, you know that I won’t readily throw in the towel and am not easily overcome. The most important thing for me is that you are happy and content, and this is the greatest consolation to me. You know, I overestimated your intelligence! That’s the consequence, that you silly child don’t occupy yourself crossword puzzles and other riddles and did not quite understand the clever riddle I posed you. By the way, letter was once again opened by the customs office “to check on currency exchange”. Have my letters been opened as well? I should have written “Rosenecke” [?] instead of “Hanau” – perhaps you would have understood the riddle a little better then, or perhaps “Tiloit” [?] or something similar. But you did know that L had friends in H[anau]? Well then!! I hope you had good news from Ernst [Margarete’s son], and his finger will soon be healed. Will he get his old job back?  You won’t have such an urgent need for the old fine handkerchiefs, as you write, and you will perhaps soon haven an opportunity to pick them up yourself. One can’t entrust that to another person, or don’t you know that either? In any case they are not that valuable, they won’t make anyone rich. Why would I worry about Kahn [?]? I told you that this business is all the same to me, I don’t even think about such things. Instead, I have a lot of things to do with my administrator and put in order before 1.4. [the date on which an instalment of the wealth tax was due, according to the ordinance of 21 November 1938], we must wait for the decision about the taxes, and other such things. Gustl’s [Auguste, cousin of Emma’s father] affairs are one step further, the day before yesterday their furniture was finally taken away in a small container [?], for which they had to pay a year [in advance] so that it can remain in the duty-free harbour – for first they have to obtain the immigration permit, and during all those preparations things often change completely on account of new regulations, which appear overnight.

            I have to end for today and remain with 1000 kind greetings and kisses,

Your devoted old Mother

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (12): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

 

Wednesday 8.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, yesterday I received your dear letter of Sunday, as I do every Tuesday, and took great pleasure in it because the contents did not affect my mood as negatively as they do most of the time. It is good that you have a little more time for yourself now, at least you can spend Monday and Saturday afternoons as you please, although you still have to deal with too much correspondence. Forgive my scribbling, I am trying for once to write to you while I lying down, because in the afternoon that is better for my leg. And to lie down and do nothing is terrible for me and only fatigues me. Yesterday I looked through the old account books while lying down, and through he housekeeping book of my dear grandmother, all of which is to be pulped, together with the contents of another bookcase, as well as Der Morgen [a German-Jewish literary magazine founded by Julius Goldstein, Emma’s son-in-law, published between 1925 and 1938] – or should I not do that? But what will happen with it in future? In the afternoon I am more hands-on (although I’m talking about my leg!) and at that time I also have A[delheid]’s [Emma’s maid] help. First the laundry was put away, then the (finally cleaned) bookcase was set up – earlier on, there was still broken glass in it from 10. 11. [a reference to Pogromnacht, when Nazis rampaged and destroyed Jewish property]—but with almost no books, and why bother? Last week I gave away a huge number, including several novels, to Babettchen, to whom Mrs. Schweizer, her sister, has set a good example. In other respects, too, she is a woman who does an infinite amount of good and constantly cares for the poor. This time your letter was opened by the foreign exchange office, and some time ago the same happened with one of Lilly’s [emma’s oldest daughter]. But they miscalculated. They could see only what good and loving daughters I have, so ha-ha! And you write that you are now in possession of the clearance certificate for the furniture – so what’s next? Who notified you of this? I wish you’d write in a little more detail about these things, also if anyone else apart from me reported to you about the tax ruling of 800 Marks, and why suddenly such a large sum. Your friend Kahn [?] threated through his advisor to force an auction. The letter was addressed to my administrator, with a copy to me. I am waiting what the future will bring. I just want to know who will take care of your furniture – since I will shell out the money for it. I don’t want you to be under any illusion that you will have the furniture by 1.4., as much as I would wish it for your sake. Aunt Pauline, who emigrated in May, has only now come into possession of hers. It is true, however, that there were constantly new difficulties and new regulations. On Saturday afternoon I had pleasant visitors, and in addition I invited Mimi [Emma’s sister, Wilhelmine Bing]– indeed, I can’t seat more than 4 persons at the table in the living room. I bet you 10 to 1 that you won’t guess who my visitors were, but not to make the test too hard on your curiosity, I will tell you that they are Lilly’s friends from Hanau. I even let them take along the fine little handkerchief which you left behind in the summer – it would be regrettable if it got into the wrong hands. Well then, they are approximately 2 hours [away], you will find the address in the list of names in the green address book. Besides, Mimi knows about it, and I am sure you will have an opportunity at some time, when it’s worth your while, to fetch the handkerchief or have it brought to you. That answers your question of last month.

            This morning I received a list of silver items one may keep or must surrender. I wanted to tell you in case you don’t know about that, and I am glad I no longer have much silver, yet sorry for every single piece that I must surrender. Last week I forgot to write to you about a letter from Rose which came to my address but was meant for you and asks for your address. She writes from Villars [skiing area in Switzerland] (the highest and most beautiful place in all of “Bexen” [Bex, town at the foot of Villars]), where she accepted a position for a few months. – Now that I have gotten up, I see that the letter is for me after all. She just wants to know whether you are still en France [in France], etc. and where, and she complains bitterly that she has lost a great deal on account of her husband’s brother, that she couldn’t pay the interest (ses intérêts), that’s why she took this job. Yet she kindly invites me, if necessary, to come to her, saying that she had always room for me. She wants your address – should I give it to her? I am sure she will not ask you or me for anything. If you do not write to her, I will, she is there only until 20.3.

            A few days ago someone from the Staedtische Sparkasse [municipal bank] called concerning your taxes. I referred the gentleman to Dr. Kraus [Emma’s legal counsel, former mayor of Mainz]. [I said that Kraus] took over those matters because I am too old and sick, and he ought to call him. Have you heard anything about that? K[raus] no longer tells me anything, I assume that he corresponds with you directly and that you know more than I. Perhaps this matter is connected with your furniture – I don’t know a thing about it. When Milly [Amalie Schwarz, emma’s sister, who later left for Riga and Great Britain] is there, I assume you will talk to her, then she can report to you about Leo herself. That idiot has only now, that is, a short while ago, applied for an extension to his resident permit.  I am glad that family M will come to you shortly, but it is tragic that the poor man has to go on suffering so much, just like poor L in L – which again shows the duplicate nature of the cases. Here the weather has also turned warmer, and I frequently air out the apartment and sometimes also go out on the balcony – but that’s not possible today because of the stormy weather.

            I want to conclude because Mimi will soon arrive, perhaps also Georgi [perhaps Georgine Eller, Emma’s sister], and then I won’t be able to continue writing, or rather to send off the letter, because Adelheid has been participating in air raid safety exercises for more than 8 days, and I want her to take the letter along around 7.30. Prior to that of course she will look after my dinner, and everything is prepared for that.

            Stay healthy, my child, and be especially careful in this March weather. By the way, did you solve my riddle? I don’t think it was hard.

All my love and heartfelt greetings and kisses from your loving mother.

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(11): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

 

Wednesday 1.3. 39

My dear Gretel, although I am rather tired after a bad night, I did finally get up for an hour before the meal at noon, after I had dozed on the chaise longue all morning – if only to work up a little appetite for the meal, to have a little conversation with you, and to answer your dear letter of Sunday. In the meantime, I was glad to have a postcard from Lieschen and find out that she spent an evening with you, and I was happy that you make exceptions [to your routine] and do occasionally spend an evening with others. It is not good at all to be always on your own. Lieselein wrote to Mimi [perhaps Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] that you plan to become independent soon. I suppose that refers only to your intention to rent a small apartment for yourself. Or do you have any other plans? I was glad that you spent an afternoon with Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] and his family once again and I send my heartfelt thanks to him for his kind lines and for the prospect of hearing more of him soon. Yesterday, toward evening, I had a really pleasant surprise: Willichen [?][presumably Willy, Emma’s nephew] came here with his mother [Jenny Saarbach, Emma’s sister]. He arrived yesterday morning, just for the day, and left again yesterday evening, because he will show up on your side within the next few days – finally! It took especially long in his case. Mimi also came right away, and he gave her an apparently good tip for Leo, which goes via Berthe, to whom M[imi?] wanted to write yesterday already on Willy’s instruction.

This morning I did not get around to continue writing because first my tenant, or rather the tenant of Mrs. A [?] came downstairs and brought me a wonderful bouquet of lilacs, then came my administrator with whom I always need to discuss all sorts of things, and as is the case most of the time, it was 2 o’clock until I finally ate. In future I will have even more business with him, and you will as well, because we learned yesterday that from 1 April on the lawyers and trustees are no longer permitted to work for us, so that Dr. K[raus] [former mayor of Mainz, handling Emma’s affairs] will also be history by then. It would be disastrous if this happens before your tax affairs are in order, but Director Dietz believes that you will probably hand over the matter to him. The two gentlemen are well acquainted and on friendly terms with each other, and Mr. D[ietz] is also informed about all these matters through me and through K[raus] – have you heard anything yet about this? I am sorry to hear that Hannah [Gretel’s daughter] is in such pain, I hope she will soon be well again. I am glad that your lecture was a success – a ringing [a pun? The German “ringend” can also mean “clinking”, i.e. monetary] success, yes? As for your readiness to help me, my dear child, I am very grateful for your offer and that you and Lilly [Emma’s daughter, living in Buenos Aires] are willing to look after me here. I would be sorry, however, if that became necessary. So far I still manage quite well, and what is much more important, I think I will be able to pay the two payments [taxes on assets, to be paid in 4 instalments] in May and August without further help. There is a chance that I will be able to pay on 1 April the tax … by 1 February of this year, I will be paid a sum exactly equivalent to this instalment, and the second instalment in August is also taken care of, because I will still be paid 500 Marks out of Lilly’s locked account. In February the Department of Finance in Frankfurt paid the sum directly to the local Department of Finance, but in case I am no longer in a position to do the transaction, it would be a great comfort to know that that money will not be used for other purposes. Now, lets’ hope that I am still around to see 1 April, or the money is lost to us. If I tell you that I do not want to live much longer, you mustn’t hold it against me, my dear Gretel (but keep this confidential), as I have to suffer a great deal of pain, and this will hardly improve, because miracles no longer happen! So far I still have enough courage and the will to go through with it. Nights are usually better than days, they are only occasionally bad, like last night. Ernst [her doctor], who happened to be here yesterday, gives me medications to ease the pain, and I just took a new medication with my tea a little while ago – I hope it works better than the last one. As long as you stay healthy and don’t work so hard, my dear! Indulge yourself occasionally, which you can do with the money you meant for me.

            Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing] is due to come soon and probably also Georgi [probably Georgine Eller, another sister of Emma’s]. She is more frequently with me than before because she has fewer distractions than earlier – neither theatre, nor concerts, nor anything else. You could feel sorry for her and even Gustel [Auguste Gutmann, Ferdinand Gutmann’s wife] commiserates with her. And now goodbye for today, my dear. A[delheid] [Emma’s maid] should take the letter along with her afterwards. Warm greetings and kisses,

Your devoted mother

[on top of first page:] Warm greetings to the children.

 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (10): LETTERTO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

16.2. 39

My dear Gretel, now that I have gotten the airmail letter for Lilly’s birthday ready for the mail, it’s your turn, my dear, and first let me confirm receipt of your dear lines of Sunday. But, please, have your secretaries put a new colour ribbon into your typewriter, I have to pour over [your letter] with my weak eyes until I can decipher everything. I am glad that Ernst [Gretel’s youngest son] is doing relatively well. Who knows what attending a technical school for a while will be good for (even if it’s [not good] for your wallet)? Maybe that will advance [his career] and may be closer to his own inclinations.  Chi lo sa? [Who knows?] – I too am always busy and have paperwork and I do a lot myself that would really be Dr. Kr[aus]’ [former mayor of Mainz, managing some of Emma’s affairs] business, for example the tax on assets yesterday [A decree issued in the spring of 1938 forced Jews to declare assets over 5,000 Marks and pay 20% taxes on them in 4 instalments]. I had all sorts of correspondence with the Mitteld[eutsche] Kreditbank in Frankfurt with respect to the blocked account of Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter, now living in Buenos Aires], which is now a great blessing for me. I didn’t want to delay the matter, which would have happened with Dr. K. because these people have a crazy workload, especially this month, and so I managed the obtain confirmation from the bank in Frankfurt almost 8 days ago that they have sent my instalment to the Department of Finance. And I am all the more pleased because Dr. Kr[aus] charged me 25 Marks for his work on the first instalment, and this time I saved that amount. In addition I have a lot of preliminary work to do with the tax declaration and am now waiting for Dir[ector] Dietz, who was unfortunately sick at the end of last month. But he promised me this morning on the phone that he would come tomorrow morning because I had received from the district court a letter concerning the instalments, which must be answered. And so almost every day brings something new, and most of the time nothing useful. In the afternoon I almost always have visitors, such as an improvised tea with Mrs. Drexelius, who succeeded Miss Stockmann on the 4^th [floor], and in addition Bab. and H.D. [?]. then also Georgi and Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing], and with those two I played Rommé, as usual, until about 7.30. It is touching how Bab. and her husband are looking after me, [bringing me] things that can’t be obtained easily here or can’t be obtained at all, and [their care] makes me very glad. Do send greetings to B. occasionally [in your letter], she has of course asked me to greet you many times, and she often pours her heart out to me because she and her husband are forced to stay with relatives until they get lucky and can go to their children, first to Fritz in Lfr [?] And then to Anny, who lives near Rolf. This afternoon I expect Paul M[eyer] [a relative, Gustel Gutmann’s brother]  because I have a letter for him from Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter], which she sent to my address because she does not know his new address and thinks Gustel has already departed, but Gustel has still problems with the clearance connected with the house, the mortgage, and similar matters [Gustel eventually fled to Riga, where she was murdered]. C’est toujours la même chose [It’s always the same thing]. Lieschen’s family (6 persons) intend to sail to Canada on the 24^th of this month. An old friend of the late Mr. R. has made it possible for them all to come. I hope Karl will soon find suitable work; he is intelligent after all, and the boys (the oldest is 18 years old) can also do something. Lieschen thinks only of her obligation to watch out and take care of them all, and she is very courageous, considering the continual pain in her feet. Anna G. [Gustel’s daughter[ who visited me the day before yesterday, has a chance to go to Warrington near Manchester as a nurse – they are short of nurses in England, they say. And now don’t be alarmed: Heddel [Emma’s niece, daughter of August Saarbach and Johanna Gutmann] has given up her job because (she says) she cannot tolerate the sea climate, but also (as Anna said) because she had such a terribly small room in which one couldn’t see anything without light, even during the day. And now she has accepted a job with a lady who lives alone with her 18-year-old son. She is half an hour from London, so one fine day she is likely to appear at your place, although she does not have your address from me. But I bet she’ll find it out! Aenny [?], who has been for some months in Switzerland – in Ascona, and lately in Locarno – is not permitted to stay any longer. She too wants to go to England, probably with the help of Heddel, and (don’t laugh!) she wants to take a position as maid. You will laugh even harder when you hear that Aenny [?] (according to a report from Willy [Emma’s nephew, son of Jenny Saarbach] to his mother) earned some 70 Marks/month with short stories and the like, which allowed her to do quite well there.

Yesterday evening Lotte arrived with Juliane. They had several wardrobes and cabinets full of stuff at Lisbeth’s, which they wanted to pick up. Before she starts on her position as maid over there [in England], she will probably marry her friend, who is however a lawyer and is not likely to have many [job] opportunities. On Sunday morning I had a visit from Mrs. Wolf of Oberstein, who had already once asked her daughter in D. to convey greetings to me from…[name omitted], and I was very glad of her visit. She told me all sorts of interesting things. She had talked to you formerly, only on the telephone. I was in the middle of writing this morning, when my administrator came and stayed some two hours, as usual. First we dealt with the business of the savings account, about which I had just written a letter, and then with the tax declaration [of assets over 5000 Marks] – Mr. D[ietz] thought that could be done in a quarter hour. Hah! That declaration is so complicated this year, that no one can quite understand it and even he had to peruse each point [?] a long time. So now I have a lot of writing to do again before he comes back the day after tomorrow with the tax forms, which he unfortunately did not have with him. And tomorrow Adelheid [Emma’s maid] has to fetch a copy of the tax form from elsewhere, so I can copy it out, since he himself gives me only notes – I have to write everything myself. Today I will…[end of sentence missing]

Greetings to all

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER @KRISTALLNACHT (9): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

7.2. 1939

My dear Gretel, because I want to enclose a few lines to dear Ernst [Gretel’s youngest son], whose letter I greatly enjoyed, I right away answer your letter of Sunday which arrived today. I’m just glad that the problem with his finger isn’t that bad, as you describe it, and that he has already returned to his work on Thursday. So, he told me a fib? I hope not. I am sorry that you have a sore throat once again and in addition a problem with your stupid knees, and I hope that this will soon improve and you will be well again all round. I suppose that this has to do with your stupid climate, where neuralgic and rheumatic pain is common, I am sure, but let me tell you of a cheap remedy which is just as effective as Gelonida neuralgica, which Ernst [her doctor] wanted to give me last week, but I told him it was too expensive. Then he immediately said I could just as well use Contraneural. (Why do local physicians always prescribe the most expensive medication first?) Some time ago I took the first medication on his advice, and it was of no use at all, whereas last week I took Contraneural for two days and felt its good effect and actually am still feeling less pain, at least not as intensive pain. Yet this medication is only 1.05 Marks for 20 tablets – so try it out! How much work you have made for yourself with your invitation and cooking! But if it gives you joy, you were right to do it. I myself would certainly have indulged in a different kind of entertainment! Were [your guests] acquaintances of old? Little Nicole appears to be a true wunderkind – I have never heard of a child of 4 and half years getting her second set of teeth – that was quite a rattling of teeth, wasn’t it? I was also glad that you finally had time again to be with Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son]; it is really too bad that you and the people closest to you see so little of each other – so near and yet so far! At noon yesterday I had to write a long letter to my administrator Dietz about that stupid business of [obtaining] a mortgage. Unfortunately he has been sick for a week. … had a business consultant from Baden-Baden write a rather urgent letter to me, which I received on Sunday and immediately sent on to Dietz, who in turn phoned me twice about it yesterday. This matter will be decided in court, and for this purpose I need to supply all sorts of information, which my administrator will use. It is a very stupid affair. And you always write in such a daft manner about money matters, for example today: “So they have to take out a mortgage, if there is no cash” – “if” can only mean “because” or do you suppose that I am keeping money in an old stocking? I really don’t understand your ideas about this whole matter. I assume, if one has to take out a mortgage, a forced auction cannot be far behind, because where am I to get the money to pay for the interest? Even if you think I “mustn’t worry about it”, it’s not easy for me to cope because I face these questions and negotiations too often and too much. On the other hand, I don’t want to take them too seriously and often tell myself: there are things that are much worse. – Yesterday morning I kept working long past the midday meal: I covered my warm woollen [house]shoes, which are a little worn, with old black Atlas [a silk fabric], and lo and behold, the result was excellent. In former times I often embroidered slippers, so that I still remembered the pattern very well. I just had to make a paper pattern first. “So it’s bound to come again!” [lyrics?] – [by] Ivanzelona [?]? Otherwise nothing much has happened to me. On Sunday Lenny shared my midday meal, and Mimi [Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing] joined us as well. She brought [woollen] hats from Lisbeth. Later Georgi also joined us, because we wanted to talk to Jenny about her birthday presents. Her birthday is on Saturday, the 12^th of this month. She will be 76 years old, and perhaps you can send her a postcard, if possible. – Strange: I called Dr. Kraus some two hours ago and asked his office to return my tax assessment concerning the second instalment of the capital levy, and just now I get a letter from Dr. K[raus] with the tax assessment enclosed, and a bill from him for 83.50 Marks, of which 25 Marks are for his consultation and work on Jewish asset release, etc., including 8.50 for tax on documents for Mrs. Margarete G[oldstein]. In addition he writes the following: “Retroactively, and to keep things orderly, I confirm [receipt of] 36.30 Marks for income tax and notary fees for Mrs. Goldstein. In the meantime I had to pay another 8.50 Marks tax on documents for transferring the power of attorney and so I must ask you to send me this amount together with the amount of the invoice.” Furthermore he writes: “Unfortunately I can make no headway in the matter of your daughter. On 16 January 1939 I wrote once again in detail to the Department of Finance and repeatedly asked to be informed in what form the Jewish tax on assets must be secured through landed property. So far I have received no answer whatsoever and will follow up again today. Mr. Singer and your daughter are informed about my efforts.”  The letter, by the way, is dated 3.2. It was probably in the hands of other people – one can see that the envelope has been opened, and the letter arrived finally today, apparently coming from the post office to me. It was addressed to Kőnigstrasse 72 instead of 27. I will see that Dr. K[raus] is paid today.

Now we’ll eat the midday meal – we’ll have potato soup…[illegible] there was rice…[illegible] there were crepes with apple compote, although that’s not certain, I didn’t follow up and ask if A. brought apples along. My dining room is now quite nicely furnished as “waiting room.” All my love and all the best, my dear child, and a 1000 kisses from your mother.

Heartfelt greetings to W’s and Judas [Gretel’s daughter was married to Hans Juda].

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (8): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Saturday, 24.12. 38

My dear Gretel, despite best intentions to write to you yesterday so that you’d have a letter from me tomorrow at any rate, it didn’t work out, and today likewise: It is already after 12 o’clock now that I finally get around to sitting down in peace and writing – for how long, is questionable. Then there is the cold, the coming holidays, and the water shut-down over the holidays (the toilets are, by the way, completely frozen). The cold is too awful – I had endless telephone conversations with three companies – Roller, Liebenot, and Sichel. At first I could reach only Roller, then Andreas, and so forth – I spent almost the whole morning on this matter, and what’s worse, Adelheid [the maid] wasted the whole morning running around because of a packet for Hannah [Gretel’s youngest daughter], the only packet I put together. Yesterday evening she came back with it and brought along a huge number of forms to fill out. And although Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] happened to be here, who has filled out the same forms x-times for Leo and filled them out for me in the same way, everything was still wrong, and Adelheid had to go to the post office three times, because there was always something else that didn’t work out despite help from a gentlemen at the office who supposedly always handled those things. And in addition to this, the frightful cold, the snow which doesn’t stop, it is really awful. I didn’t make any progress yesterday, it was a terrible day for me, nothing but business, in between visitors, a lot of paperwork, presents for Adelheid – in the end I was so tired that after the evening meal I had to rest on the chaise longue until it was time to go to bed, even though I would have liked to go on writing to you. And then I had some joy, although it also brought me worries: a call from Hedda J. who always thinks so lovingly of me. But my worry is about you, my dear child, for I heard that on the day before yesterday in the evening you had quite a head cold, and that you are also suffering cruelly cold weather (but I knew that already), so that even your bathroom was frozen. And I am sorry that you are so alone and therefore have a lot of work and bother. And then there is the insufficiency of your heating, that is, no heating. In that respect I am a little better off with our stoves, which use up a lot of coals (which were hard to get this week because the ships on the Rhine are iced in), but I keep at it all day long, so that it’s moderately warm. Adelheid sleeps in your room now because hers can’t be heated, and in this manner we also heat the back corridor a little bit, although it’s barely noticeable. They ruined the stove in the front corridor on 10. 11. [during Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage], after it had just been repaired a week earlier. Please write immediately how you are and, if you have a cold, stay in bed and look after your health. Someone else must look after your office, or people will have to wait until you are well again. Yesterday morning a wonderful present arrived: a beautiful white bed jacket, sent by Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son, born 1909] (today I received his kind letter), and I “inaugurated” it immediately last night. Give him my heartiest thanks for the time being, I will write to him myself later this week. I hope you were able to be with him and your loved ones during these days. I would be very sorry to think that you are all by yourself. I had chicken yesterday (only because of Adelheid) and today we’ll have a rabbit roast. I invited Jenny [Janny Saarbach, Emma’s sister] to share it, because I want her to have something nice as well. There is a great shortage of things where she is. You can’t get meat at all or hardly ever. That’s why I invite her to a dinner of roast meat most of the time, for which she is very grateful. Imagine I can’t find your last letter, although I looked and looked for it. It got lost under the immense number of papers and letters with which I must deal. I only remember that you wrote about the penalty, that you notified them of your cashed-out pension, but that was not the right thing to do – I know that from Mimi, who also did so at first, but it was not necessary. You never told me what happened to your pension – did they accept your request? You know how much I am interested in that matter – only on your behalf. Yesterday morning I received a letter from Dr. Kraus [Emil Kraus, former mayor of Mainz, now Emma’s legal advisor]. I will copy the contents out for you. You can imagine that his letters made me even more depressed. Soon I won’t know what to do anymore and how I can fulfil all my obligations. You know that I have larger expenses than usual on January 1^st, and this time I have to cash in the last money I still have in the bank to be able to pay for everything – well, things will go on somehow. Last week I had numerous meetings with the administrator [Dietz?] of the house, and it is good that I engaged this man, who is very nice and effective. Paul S. also uses him for his house. According to the letter, I was supposed to have a man assigned by the party, and I am sure this is the better option. D[ietz?] keeps primarily an eye on my interests (but he gets 360 Marks annually). He already had to put in a lot of effort. He wrote letters to all the tenants, which they must sign, and he gave it to each party in person to establish a relationship with them. He also manages the sale of the house, which seems to be more iffy than before (check what Dr. Kr[aus] writes about it). It looks like a mortgage needs to be taken out as security, but it would be painful for me, and I hardly think I have enough left after paying these so-called small sums in cash once again. Do you have any suggestion for that? After all, I repeatedly sent money to you over there. Could you by any chance send me some of it? If not, please give me advice on what to do. I would gladly sell a lot of things, but it can hardly be done, and over the last two months everything has lost value. Tomorrow I will write to Dr. K[raus] and inform him that I would like to make inquiries with B. and R. concerning the 200 Marks. I can’t understand why the furniture is so expensive. I did after all send 150 or 180 Marks to B. because you thought you could get the furniture for that sum, and then I sent a smaller amount in November to Berlin for the same purpose, and now these people demand another 200 Marks. Can that be right? In any case let’s not lose sleep over that and let’s see how everything turns out. I hope my letter finds you in good health, my dear, and that you will write to me soon. I don’t think it’s right for you to send me something, and I hope you haven’t done it yet. I could not send you…anything at all, as I never leave the house now. 1000 greetings, also for Hans and Elsbeth [Gretel’s daughter married to Hans Juda, publishers of the British export magazine “The Ambassador”].

Your devoted Mother  

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (7): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Margarete Goldstein and Milly

 

28 November 1938

My dear Gretel,

The 4 o’clock mail brought me your two loving greetings of Friday and Saturday, and they gave me a lot of joy, especially your suggestion that I should live with you, although that places a heavy burden on you, my poor girl. Although I know how nice and kind Wolfgang is [Gretel’s oldest son], as are the others [Gretel’s three other children?] – the thought of tying my life to that of young people, no matter how willing they are to sacrifice and even if I were to give up everything that an old-fashioned woman is accustomed to – that idea, I must admit, would be hard for me to get used to. As you yourself write (and as I fear as well), it would be too busy for me there, and I am so used to peace and quiet, and also need it.

I would certainly not trouble you and I would certainly make an effort not to disturb you, according to the saying “laisser allez, laisser faire” [leave it, let it be] But the great trouble that I would cause you and the others weighs heavily on me, and I am constantly asking myself whether it is still worthwhile doing. Still, I agree with everything you tell me and suggest to me, and hopefully I will still be able to undertake such a journey. As for what you write about the house, I don’t care. A little earlier I also called Paul [Paul Mayer, brother of Auguste  (Gustel) Gutmann, a relative  of Emma’s] who, however, is unable and unwilling  to look after anything and will stop [working] any day now. He merely wants to hand over your letter and the power of attorney and (I assume) all of the documents to Dr. K [Dr. Emil Kraus, former mayor of Mainz] whom I went to see on Friday morning. I tentatively discussed everything with him in brief, and as I have difficulties getting to [his office], which he understands, he promised to come this week to see me because he wants to look into taxes and other matters that need to be considered.  After I had already talked to Dr. L [unidentified] earlier, I called him, Dr. K., once again to ask him to come by soon to discuss matters mentioned in your letter, which has just arrived, and he promised to come by on Wednesday afternoon. I hope he will come. You have no idea how much in demand these people are and, as he told me, there are only three men here who can look after us, he being one of them [the Law of Restoration (1933) removed Jews from government services; in 1936 Jews were forbidden to serve as tax consultants, and as of November 12, 1938 Jews were not allowed to own businesses].  I cannot understand that you haven’t heard from Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter in Buenos Aires] for so long. She wrote to me a while ago and now again tells me in an airmail letter that you were so kind to write to her and inform her of everything and she also wrote to you immediately – probably already for a second time – you might therefore receive both letters together.  I am very happy that you found a job that suits you. Regrettably it does not bring any income [Gretel did charitable work], but that will hopefully happen soon.

There is no need for me to get used to your distances, my dear child, because the signs of old age become more noticeable every day. I will barely be able to get out of the house.  Therefore, it would be best if you left me here where I practically don’t go out anymore. Day before yesterday I talked with Mimi [perhaps Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing]  and Guste [see above]  about all the items you say I should take along. Also with regard to underwear and what I need to keep me warm. And yet, I immediately said: “But I will be taking my nightgowns!” G[uste] wanted to get some pants for me today, but wasn’t able to get any, so she brought me some Tricot [stretchy fabric] of hers or from Milly [Amalie Schwarz, née Gutmann], 5 pieces that I will probably use. She also bought me material for a good dress that I would have needed here as well and which I will have made soon. I will take overcoats, I mean my two old winter coats and two others, which will be sufficient for me.  I shouldn’t spend too much since I have to make sure I have money for all kinds of larger expenses. But I will talk about all that with the man in question who himself also made me aware of so many things that have to be done.  For example, I have already made a list of the things I plan to take with me, and he will look after all that as well.

You write about an electric heater in your office. Is there no heating? And what is the current, I mean, the voltage there? I have an electric heater that I could bring with me.  I will of course bring my heat pad and my reading lamp for the night table, or would you like my pretty night table lamp for yourself?

I don’t blame you if you don’t write to Heddel [Hedwig Saarbach, Emma’s niece, daughter of her sister Johanna (Jenny) Gutmann], as I did not do it either, for the same reason. If she ever inquires, [we can say that] this particular letter with the enclosure was lost.

29. 10.

I couldn’t continue writing before going to bed yesterday because A. sat here and babbled incessantly. Today there isn’t much more to say either, let’s wait and see what happens next. The address you want is: Dr. Kraus, Gutenbergplatz 1.  He is the former mayor, and still a highly valued and powerful man. But I think it is better if you wait with writing to him until after his visit here tomorrow.  After talking to him I might be able to tell you some of the things you want to know.  These men receive a lot of written inquiries. During his last visit here, S.L. was rather indignant about the many letters, and referred openly to your last letter.  One day you should show him little Ernst’s enclosure [probably Grete’s youngest son, born in 1918] – “little” refers to former times. I find it sweet. I am just looking at Lilly’s [Emma’s oldest daughter] letters, which I have still to answer.  She wrote on 20.10 that she had received a long letter from you the previous day, and that she would reply to it, addressing it to Hannah [Grete’s daughter, born 1912]. And in the airmail dated the 16^th of this month, after the affair [referring to Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage aimed at Jews], she asks “What do you hear from Gretal? I haven’t heard anything. I hope she is doing well.”

For today, 1000 heartfelt hugs and kisses from you loyal M[other].

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (6): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

The following letter illustrates the harassment Jews suffered and the effect of laws introduced by the Nazis in 1937/38. In order to leave Germany, Jews needed a new passport, a certificate from the police noting the dissolution of their residence in Germany, an itemized list of all gifts made to third parties after January ’31. They also had to pay 25% of their assets if they exceeded a value of 50,000 Marks, offer proof that there were no outstanding taxes to pay, and file a customs declaration dated no earlier than three days before departure. Emigrants could only take along 2,000 Marks, the remaining assets had to be transferred to a bank account with restricted access. Emigrants also had to show that they had made travel arrangements to another country and obtained entrance visas for that country.

 November 24, 1938

Thursday. My dear Gretel, your postcard and letter of Tuesday and Wednesday both arrived today, and now that my sweet Hedda has left, I am getting around to answering you. We spent a couple of comfortable hours together and are both of the opinion that none of you is correctly informed about all the things that need to be done, as Paul explained to me yesterday on my request. Nobody can do the least thing, neither J.H., nor P.S., nor I, nor Hedda or anyone else until the permit arrives, and only when one has that in hand, is it possible to set everything else in motion. The passport is the last thing to be obtained, and you keep writing that I should make that happen. Indeed, as soon as you have the passport, you have to depart, as Gustel [married to Emma’s uncle Ferdinand], who is sometimes intelligent, has told me a long time ago. Presumably she knows that from Milly [Emma\s sister] as well as from her own experience. On my request Paul [banker, a relative] explained to me everything I have to do: the English consulate, the Department of Finance, confirmation that all taxes have been paid, and so forth, and he is of the opinion (which I second) that I can’t do everything myself and absolutely must have a capable person, and so he highly recommended to me the former mayor Dr. Kraus, an  especially agreeable person and exceptionally effective, as tax consultant, in property administration, etc. He says I should use Dr. Kraus for everything, including the house. I therefore think that P.S. should hand over to that man the power of attorney he has from you – don’t you think? You could enclose a few lines to him about this matter in a letter addressed to me. That way you save the cost of stamps. Also, the man has a crazy amount of work to do over the few days during which he is still around, so that he might miss or forget something. It will be safer if the message goes through me. That’s all I can report to you about the matter at this time. It is very kind of H that they want to help me, but they are in no position to do so. Perhaps they can be of help later on. Nor has he been at S. L.’ place so far, who was quite surprised that he wants to cross his threshold, and hopes that he will do so only in the evening. When you see the visitors you encounter there, you will understand [cryptic -- perhaps he was under observation]. You write to me about the suitcase and sending it ahead – imagine, I said the same thing yesterday to Mimi [Emma’s sister]. At this point I’ll inquire into it. Mimi is already worried about her things and afraid of losing them – well, then she will have to tie her future to that of her children. Jenny [Emma’s sister] worries as well because Willy [Jenny’s son], it appears, has nothing left, but that is not believable. George will leave tomorrow, probably with a large transport of children to Switzerland – that’s it for his school. The end. And now I want to write to my dear Ernst [probably Gretel’s youngest son], whom I almost forgot – that’s because after the 10^th [the date of the Kristallnacht rampage] I no longer noted things down in my calendar – I just can’t manage it. Or else I would not have forgotten that date. I enclose a little letter to him, please send it to him from me in your next letter. And so Good Night now, my dear child. All the best to you and all the loved ones and heartfelt greetings and kisses from you loyal E.

I am sure Lilly has written an airmail letter to me which unfortunately hasn’t arrived yet. This morning I missed Adele (because I was at the doctor’s) and also the mother of G.W. who has gone to Lilly. She told Adelheid [Emma’s maid], that things were much worse in their place than in ours. They had a flood, and she and the maid had to bail out the water for hours. Nicolai, of whom she writes, is terribly overworked. He has been in Gustel’s employ for a long time, but she keeps complaining that he does everything so slowly, and she probably wants to use the above-named gentlemen for her affairs.

Alright – she will probably go to the theatre tonight, since her subscription is for this evening. So, now you know everything about my sisters. This morning I was with Dr. G., who was very charming and declared that my leg is no worse and I could easily make the “little journey” [ironic reference to her planned emigration to England]. I just have to take the Rheingold train at 2pm, around 7pm I arrive in Amsterdam, there I must stay overnight and wait for nice weather to cross over. That’s a dreamer for you! I told him, that a man like Dr. G. can manage that perhaps, but not a woman like Mrs. N [i.e. herself]. Hedda advises me to fly, but I don’t dare to do that, although it would be fabulous to get there in such a short time. You can see from all of this that I comply exactly with your wishes and have quite familiarized myself with the thought of seeing you again.  I could almost enjoy the thought if the reason for the journey wasn’t so sad. I feel very sorry for Mimi, it is difficult for her to do without me, and I too am already sorry. If only all of us weren’t so old, so that we could still achieve something, but there isn’t much doing in that respect. Are the Salas and Lolas [unidentified] from here? I assume they are. I am still tearing up a lot of old letters from all years and of course I don’t keep the recent ones either – I say this to reassure you. Renate will…[text missing] spoke with Director Dietz about the future and how everything is supposed to proceed. And it occurred to me that you should look after all the matters I now transact with D[ietz], for example, concerning the bills (checking income and costs) and all the rest that must be dealt with. – Change tenants? Or tell me what you think. There is really no one here, with whom I can discuss all these matters. All that has been weighing on my mind for a long time now, so that it would be very unreasonable of you to reply “We still have a lot of time for that.” That would annoy me terribly. Lilly is too far away, or I would mull it over with her. But you have many friends – Lilly…etc. who would surely lend you the 15 Pounds. I am not allowed to send them to you. And I assume that you will have to pay more customs fees the longer the [furniture] sits there. It hurts me to think that you have once again embarked on a terribly rushed life. I can hardly understand (nor can anyone else, apart from me) why you don’t do your work leisurely and make time for something else as well. Why do more than your duty and go beyond your obligations? Unfortunately, you can never understand that you are burning the candle at both ends, and that this cannot end well – and so you are my greatest worry and will remain so until the end of my days. I will feel easier about you only if you give me your sacred promise to change in that respect.

And so it is now Wednesday morning, and you can tell from my handwriting that I once again write while lying down. In the morning I suffer the greatest pain, but it lessens if I lie down. Earlier on I had a letter by ship from Lilly [Emma’s older daughter]: Once again, unfortunately, she has not heard from you in a long time. I can’t understand that.  Don’t write to her about me, I will do that myself in the next few days, via airmail. On Sunday afternoon a gentleman visited me, who was in Britain [?] in October and greeted you on my behalf through… [illegible]. At the time they visited me especially to see what my place looked like…[illegible] the gentleman wanted to report only orally. He said some very nice things about that place. He finds Lilly’s home, the apartment, and everything charming. He is from “the other faculty” [i.e. not Jewish?], but nevertheless wants to move there permanently.

In the meantime evening has come. Mimi and Gustel are away just now, the latter went to see the Consul in Frankfurt today and has everything now to enable her to make the journey. Next week things may look better again. For today accept only many heartfelt greetings and kisses. Your m[other]

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT (5): MORE LETTERS TO MAGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

The Leo Baeck Institute, New York, has in its archive a collection of letters dating from 1938/9, a precarious time for German Jews. The writer is Emma Neumann, née Gutmann, of Mainz. The addressee is her daughter, Margarete (Gretel) Goldstein, née Neumann, who has escaped to England. The correspondence illustrates Margarete’s unsuccessful attempts to arrange for her mother’s passage to England and the increasing harassment and persecution Jews suffered in Nazi Germany during 1938/9.

This is the 5^th instalment. For earlier letters see my previous postings.

 

 22.11.38

Tuesday

My dear Gretel, many thanks for your kind postcards. I am always glad to hear from you, and we don’t have to write to each other so frequently now – we don’t want to enrich the post office. You need no longer worry about my health now, since you have also been told by others how I fare. Te [?] has also written to you. She was here yesterday, but she has come every day from the beginning. They are the best and most touching people I know, indeed the best there are. Yesterday morning I also had the pleasure to receive a packet from L [Lilly Lessing, Emma’s older daughter]. It was addressed to W, and I give heart-felt thanks to the gracious donor. In addition, I thank the other dear people there, who make efforts on my behalf. But tell me how you envisage my future and where? I am of course content with the tiniest place offered to me and certainly won’t make any demands, but there a thousand things that have to be considered and discussed first. Obviously, I can’t arrive with just my toothbrush, and I think I could manage to travel, like you, with only a minimum of furniture and other things. I will ask Camilla [unidentified] to come in the near future – right now I always have so many visitors and there are all sorts of things to be done in the house. You won’t believe how nice it looks here again, at least in the living room. Certain things are still missing in the bedroom to make me comfortable, but it will all come about gradually without me spending too much money. It’s not worth it anymore – in no respect. Did I write to you that D. [unidentified] and his wife were here on Saturday to send greetings to Lilly. I think I did. We have had terrible storms and rain over the past two days, so that of course I did not dare go out into the street.

            23. 11. I continue writing today because it occurred to me that a long letter is on the way to you and because I also wanted to get out a calming letter to Lilly, who worries more than is necessary because of my illness. In the meantime (this morning) I received, in addition to a very kind and sympathetic letter from Mrs. Aah [? Unidentified], your kind postcard of yesterday – your mail system is very prompt and that gives me great joy. You have become a complete chef and are moving from one “post” to the next. But I suppose it pleases you and the others to apply your skills. We had terribly stormy weather over the last few days, so that on the day before yesterday the electricity was off from time to time. I had no visitors on that day except Ad[ele? – her maid], which was fine with me because I have to catch up on many things in writing and never had enough time for it. Yesterday Mimi [perhaps Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] was here again and toward evening a very charming lady came, who conveyed kind greetings from children and grandchildren, which was a great pleasure – also her kind offer, of which luckily I did not need to make use. It seems that people there are under a completely wrong impression. My advice is not to spend anything on me and to save the small supply for more dire times, which may come. I mean times in other surroundings – hopefully, the money will be sufficient for here. I arranged to see friend P. [unidentified] this afternoon or tomorrow morning. So you see that I do not want to leave anything undone. I am very stupid in such things and must be told by others what needs to happen, even if others do all sorts of things for me.

            Now I must make an end for today and want to tell you all how nice it is of you to look forward to my coming (although there is really no reason for that), and I send you all –young and old – the most heart-felt greetings and kisses, especially to my “miserable” child who bears the main blame in this matter, and without whom I would hardly have said yes.

            All my love.

            The old woman

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT: MORE LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

This is the fourth letter in the correspondence between Emma and Gretel. For the first three letters see the preceding blogposts (15, 16, 19 November).

The original of this letter is lost. We have only an “extract of a 6-page long letter” typed by Gretel. The elision points in the letter are hers and indicate where she has omitted text.

Mainz, 20.11. 38

My dear Gretel, my dear child,

Thanks, many thanks for your kind messages and offers from you and the dear children [her grandchildren, Wolfgang b. 1908, Elsbeth b. 1911, Hannah b. 1912, and Ernst b. 1918]… So far nothing of the package has arrived, and it is a shame if such good things get into other people’s hands. Therefore don’t send me anything more. Nor am I in that respect so badly off, mainly because I can’t stint on anything in the interest of Adelheid (her maid)…. Yesterday I moved back into my living and bedroom [a reference to the extensive damage and destruction caused by Nazi hordes during Kristallnacht – see preceding blog postings]. Fortunately, nothing is lacking to make me comfortable – not as far as having a bed to sleep in and a chaise longue to rest on. And there are a sufficient number of chairs, but no more mirrors (there were 4 tall mirrors just in the three front rooms), but it is good if one doesn’t see one’s reflection in them…

I had small repairs done to Adelheid’s furniture (I had promised her most of the furniture for later on), for the rest I leave everything as is in the storage room –the dining room. Tutu [unidentified] need not fetch me, because (1) things don’t happen as fast as you think, and (2) I can’t leave that fast because many things need to be straightened out first. Also, the thought of coming to my grandchildren as a poor woman is terrible. In any case, one must take along what one can and is allowed to take – surely, they cannot deny us clothing and underwear.

It was very nice of you to send a wire to Lilly [Emma’s older daughter] to let her know that I am unhurt, and I am glad of it. The thought that the poor thing knows nothing of me was a great bother to me…

Yesterday a real estate agent was here, a former director of the savings bank. I heard from him that until 31 December the house can still be sold freely [a reference to the law which required Jews to transfer their property to non-Jews]. Thereafter the sale will be regulated in another form. What is your opinion?...

I send a 1000 heartfelt greetings to all my beloved and I thank them for their kind attitude toward me.

I am very tired now, I will just lay one game of Solitaire, then I’ll go to bed. Till we see each other again, indeed hear each other again! And a warm greeting and kiss from your devoted old mother, who will not lose her head – whatever happens, unless of course they pass a law about that! Don’t laugh! 

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.