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| Margarete Goldstein and Milly |
28 November 1938
My dear Gretel,
The 4 o’clock mail brought me your two loving greetings of
Friday and Saturday, and they gave me a lot of joy, especially your suggestion
that I should live with you, although that places a heavy burden on you, my
poor girl. Although I know how nice and kind Wolfgang is [Gretel’s oldest
son], as are the others [Gretel’s three other children?] – the
thought of tying my life to that of young people, no matter how willing they
are to sacrifice and even if I were to give up everything that an old-fashioned
woman is accustomed to – that idea, I must admit, would be hard for me to get
used to. As you yourself write (and as I fear as well), it would be too busy
for me there, and I am so used to peace and quiet, and also need it.
I would certainly not trouble you and I would certainly make
an effort not to disturb you, according to the saying “laisser allez, laisser
faire” [leave it, let it be] But the great trouble that I would cause
you and the others weighs heavily on me, and I am constantly asking myself
whether it is still worthwhile doing. Still, I agree with everything you tell
me and suggest to me, and hopefully I will still be able to undertake such a
journey. As for what you write about the house, I don’t care. A little earlier
I also called Paul [Paul Mayer, brother of Auguste (Gustel) Gutmann, a relative of Emma’s] who, however, is unable and
unwilling to look after anything and
will stop [working] any day now. He merely wants to hand over your letter and
the power of attorney and (I assume) all of the documents to Dr. K [Dr. Emil
Kraus, former mayor of Mainz] whom I went to see on Friday morning. I
tentatively discussed everything with him in brief, and as I have difficulties
getting to [his office], which he understands, he promised to come this week to
see me because he wants to look into taxes and other matters that need to be
considered. After I had already talked
to Dr. L [unidentified] earlier, I called him, Dr. K., once again to ask
him to come by soon to discuss matters mentioned in your letter, which has just
arrived, and he promised to come by on Wednesday afternoon. I hope he will
come. You have no idea how much in demand these people are and, as he told me,
there are only three men here who can look after us, he being one of them [the
Law of Restoration (1933) removed Jews from government services; in 1936 Jews
were forbidden to serve as tax consultants, and as of November 12, 1938 Jews
were not allowed to own businesses]. I cannot understand that you haven’t heard
from Lilly [Emma’s oldest daughter in Buenos Aires] for so long. She
wrote to me a while ago and now again tells me in an airmail letter that you
were so kind to write to her and inform her of everything and she also wrote to
you immediately – probably already for a second time – you might therefore
receive both letters together. I am very
happy that you found a job that suits you. Regrettably it does not bring any
income [Gretel did charitable work], but that will hopefully happen
soon.
There is no need for me to get used to your distances, my
dear child, because the signs of old age become more noticeable every day. I
will barely be able to get out of the house.
Therefore, it would be best if you left me here where I practically
don’t go out anymore. Day before yesterday I talked with Mimi [perhaps
Emma’s sister Wilhelmine Bing] and
Guste [see above] about all the
items you say I should take along. Also with regard to underwear and what I
need to keep me warm. And yet, I immediately said: “But I will be taking my
nightgowns!” G[uste] wanted to get some pants for me today, but wasn’t able to
get any, so she brought me some Tricot [stretchy fabric] of hers or from
Milly [Amalie Schwarz, née
Gutmann], 5 pieces that I will probably use. She also bought me material
for a good dress that I would have needed here as well and which I will have
made soon. I will take overcoats, I mean my two old winter coats and two
others, which will be sufficient for me.
I shouldn’t spend too much since I have to make sure I have money for
all kinds of larger expenses. But I will talk about all that with the man in
question who himself also made me aware of so many things that have to be
done. For example, I have already made a
list of the things I plan to take with me, and he will look after all that as
well.
You write about an electric heater in your office. Is there
no heating? And what is the current, I mean, the voltage there? I have an
electric heater that I could bring with me.
I will of course bring my heat pad and my reading lamp for the night
table, or would you like my pretty night table lamp for yourself?
I don’t blame you if you don’t write to Heddel [Hedwig
Saarbach, Emma’s niece, daughter of her sister Johanna (Jenny) Gutmann], as
I did not do it either, for the same reason. If she ever inquires, [we can say
that] this particular letter with the enclosure was lost.
29. 10.
I couldn’t continue writing before going to bed yesterday
because A. sat here and babbled incessantly. Today there isn’t much more to say
either, let’s wait and see what happens next. The address you want is: Dr.
Kraus, Gutenbergplatz 1. He is the
former mayor, and still a highly valued and powerful man. But I think it is
better if you wait with writing to him until after his visit here
tomorrow. After talking to him I might
be able to tell you some of the things you want to know. These men receive a lot of written inquiries.
During his last visit here, S.L. was rather indignant about the many letters,
and referred openly to your last letter.
One day you should show him little Ernst’s enclosure [probably
Grete’s youngest son, born in 1918] – “little” refers to former times. I
find it sweet. I am just looking at Lilly’s [Emma’s oldest daughter]
letters, which I have still to answer.
She wrote on 20.10 that she had received a long letter from you the
previous day, and that she would reply to it, addressing it to Hannah [Grete’s
daughter, born 1912]. And in the airmail dated the 16th of this
month, after the affair [referring to Kristallnacht, the Nazi rampage aimed
at Jews], she asks “What do you hear from Gretal? I haven’t heard anything.
I hope she is doing well.”
For today, 1000 heartfelt hugs and kisses from you loyal
M[other].
FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals
see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel
and Susi Lessing.
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