Wednesday 6 March 2013

MORE OF DR. RUMMEL’S GOOD ADVICE. “Oh Lord, don’t let me be misunderstood.”

Those lyrics from a hit by the Animals in 1965 are still relevant today.  People are too quick to pass judgment. Here is a sample of letters from readers who feel their actions have been misinterpreted.

MISUNDERSTOOD OFFICE WORKER writes: The other day a colleague passes my cubicle and sees me watching porn. Right away he gives me a dirty look, like I’m a pervert or something. So I tell him I’m doing research. I want to be informed about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.  During office hours? he says.  Yes, I tell him, those diseases can strike any time. He gives me a sneer. How can I get back at him?

Dear MOW: Your colleague thinks you are a pervert? Well, it takes one to know one! I suggest you hack into his computer and see what he’s been looking at. Also: you need higher cubicle walls. 

MISUNDERSTOOD PHYSICIAN writes: I run a walk-in clinic on the Venice Board Walk, specializing in the prescription of hemp products. People get annoyed when my greeters wave placards and invite them to come in for a free consultation. My employees are specialists trained to gauge the anxiety level of passers-by. They can tell when someone needs mellowing out. It’s a special skill – so please respect your neighbourhood stress spotter!

Dear MPH: I’m a hundred percent with you. P.S. Does your clinic do home deliveries?

MISUNDERSTOOD ANIMAL LOVER writes: A couple of weeks ago I bought a service dog licence on-line. So I go into Starbucks with my pitbull, and this guy makes a fuss, like the licence is fake. The dog is legit, man, I say. I totally need him for emotional support. Yeah, sure, the guy says, like he doesn’t believe me. So I punch his ugly face. Did I do wrong?

Dear MAL: You certainly did. You should have let your dog handle the situation. He can fight for himself, can’t he?

MISUNDERSTOOD REGISTRAR writes: I work for an academy that sells on-line degrees. Some people think we abet job applicants who want to pad their resume. That is so mean!  Our customers just want something suitable for framing, something they can put on their walls. A Doctorate of Philosophy looks great on wood panelling! Those allegations really hurt.

Dear MREG: I feel your pain. I can only confirm your statement.  A degree in the humanities is for decorative purposes only. I know because I have one. Read on:

OVERLOOKED HUMANIST writes: I put my liberal arts degree on Kijiji in case someone wanted to swap his fake degree in physics for my real MA. Not a single bite! And that after I memorized most of PHYSICS FOR DUMMIES so I wouldn’t blow up anything by mistake on my first job.  What a waste of time. Maybe I should try swapping my degree for a plumbing certificate. At least there is no danger of causing an explosion. What’s your opinion?

Dear OVERLOOKED: Three words of caution -- shit flooding basement. Try swapping your MA for a certificate in geriatric care. Mistakes will happen, but won’t be so noticeable in that area. I mean old people die, even if you don’t drop them on the tile floor or get their medication mixed up. P.S. My book GERIATRIC CARE FOR DUMMIES will be out this summer.

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