Thursday, 9 August 2012

Multitasking. You can’t get around it.

There was a time when a phone was just a phone, and all you could do on it was talk. Not any more. You are expected to multitask, right? So why shouldn’t your gadgets work harder as well? Here is a list of things that will do double duty for you.

Bed & Maid: Tired of straightening out sheets and plumping up pillows? Throw out your old mattress thing and buy an OHEA bed which makes itself in 50 seconds, leaving you free to do more exciting things, like working overtime to pay for your high-tech gadgets.

Tennis racquet & Trainer: Provided you have any leisure time left, check out the Babolat Play & Connect racquet on and improve your backhand via your smart-phone. P&C will give you the statistics on your power, speed, and temperature. Temperature? Oh wait, that’s the next big thing:

Flaming tennis balls & Whatever: I can’t begin to tell you all the tasks that little gizmo can accomplish in one lob. Here are a few:

-illuminating the tennis court. Remember you have to work long hours to afford those gadgets, so the only time you can play tennis is at night.

-unlock your car, according to Wait, you say, I already have a gadget unlocking my car. It’s called a key, if I remember correctly. Okay, let’s reword that: unlock someone else’s car, a nice Audi, say, or a Beamer.

-killing or maiming your tennis partner – that’s only if you are in a losing situation, of course. But there may be better ways of doing it. See next item.

Killer & Eco-warrior: The Swedish arms manufacturer NAMMO is way ahead of the eco curve. Their ammo doesn’t contain lead. Oh sure, their bullets will still kill you or your tennis partner, but in an ecologically superior way.

News & Advertising: Remember when you could tell the difference between news and commercials – one was boring, the other was entertaining. Well, now there is brand journalism, which will infotain you all the time. Check it out on These folks give you news you can use. They tell you which product is best. They mean best for them, as in best-paying. You didn’t know that? Well, let me tell you about Santa Claus. Or, since we are on the subject of saints and religion, let me tell you about

Games & Religion: The popular simulation game CIVILIZATION 5 now offers you a religion mechanic to enhance your empire. You can purchase prophets, missionaries, and inquisitors and send them out to extend your control and trounce the competition. You could kill competing religious units outright by going to war, but as Kurtis Seid explains on, “this might not always be worth it.” You know that, you say. You are aware of what happened in Afghanistan. And the whole business of prophets and inquisitors isn’t new at all. You’ve read about the Spanish Inquisition, the Iranian mullahs, etc. etc. Okay, then I don’t have to explain Santa Claus to you after all.  

1 comment:

  1. CIV3 was optimized to include programming your units to move for several turns until they reached their destination. It went downhill after that. Religion is for the weak - if you can't dominate with military might and technological advances... new game!