#AMREADING
NEMIROVSKY, THE FIRES OF AUTUMN.
The
setting: France during WWI.
Soldiers
in the trenches. He had been prepared to die a heroic death, but soon the idea of death terrified him…as
he looked at the little blackish heaps lying between two trenches, dead bodies
as numerous and insignificant as dead flies in the first cold snap of winter.
Returning
soldiers: All they wanted to do was eat
as much as possible, get drunk, go wild…The beast would be released, the beast
you had carried within yourself and kept under control for four long years.
A
woman in the post-war years:
Marriage:
Mediocre marriages are based on partial
confidences, she thinks: one of you
lets slip a confession, a sigh; a fragment of some dream or desire is shared,
but then fear sets in; it is retracted…but it is too late. The other has seen
your tears, a certain smile, an expression that is hard to forget.
The
superiority of men. I have to give in, she thought. After all, men are stronger, more intelligent than we are. If he thinks
that this is what love is, nothing more than sleeping around, he must be right.
I can’t stand up to him, I can’t. I couldn’t prove to him that he’s wrong.
Married
love. His boredom, a kind of gloomy
inertia of the soul, had set in very soon after they were married…He doesn’t
love me any more, she thought, but
when reality is too bitter, we reject it; the heart protects itself against the
truth and tirelessly invent its own dreams. It will all pass, she told herself.
Despair.
We don’t give in easily to despair. We put
up barriers of hope, which we have to remove one by one, and only then does
despair penetrate to the heart of man who gradually recognizes the enemy, calls
it by name, and is horrified.
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