KING JAMES I ON MARRIAGE. Good advice to his son.

• Be careful whom you choose as your wife, because marriage is the greatest earthly felicity or misery that can come to a man.
• Keep your body clean and unpolluted till ye give it to your wife.
• And remember the triple purpose of marriage: for staying of lust, for procreation of children…and to get a helper.
• Make sure she is not subject to hereditary sicknesses either of the soul or the body. After all, you are particular about breeding horses, how much more careful should you be for the breed of your own loins.
• Love your wife, but rule her as your pupil and teach her not to be curious in things that belong her not.  For example,
• Suffer her never to meddle with the politic government.
• And finally: make sure she keeps good company, for women are the frailest sex.

(Source, James I, Basilikon Doron, 1599)

PROCREATION – THE RENAISSANCE WAY.

This good advice comes to you from artist and philosopher Leon Battista Alberti (1404-1472).

• No one can deny that a man requires a woman for procreating children. But not more than one, okay? And why not?
• Because he cannot provide more than is needed for himself and one wife and children. Maybe he could have more wives if he had fewer children?
• Apparently some fellows didn’t want even one wife. How wrong-headed can young men be? Alberti’s advice: Perhaps it would help to put them under some compulsion. A father might put the following clause into his will: “If you do not marry when you reach the appropriate age, I disinherit you.”
• What is the appropriate age? Twenty-five. A younger man is better off spending his fire and force in establishing and strengthening his own position than in procreating. The youthful seed, moreover, seems faulty and frail and less full of vigor than that which is ripened.
• As for the bride required for the purpose of procreation: Let female relatives present the groom-to-be with a list of eligible women. He can then choose the one who suits him best. And take your time. Marrying is like acquiring property – Buyers like to look it over several times before they actually sign the contract.

THE RENAISSANCE MARRIAGE: HOW TO KEEP YOUR MAN HAPPY.

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More advice from Francesco Barbaro’s marriage manual.

• Loquacity cannot be sufficiently reproached in women and silence be sufficiently applauded.  If you have to talk, girls, keep it short. Hello and good-bye will do. The idea is to give the impression of being provoked into conversation rather than provoking it.
• Women can never be too hot, right? Wrong. Abstain from foods that encourage and instil the desires of the flesh. Curb your libido because
• A couple must use intercourse mainly in the hope of procreating.
• Once the wife is pregnant, forget about sex. I admonish you: When the ship is full, admit no more passengers.
• The best occupation for a wife, pregnant or not, is to stay home and oversee the household. It is her duty to see that no harm comes to her husband’s wine cellar, pantry, and oil supply.
• In short: To keep your man happy, shut up, put up, and procreate.
• Conclusion: I think that ear guards are far more necessary for a wife than for a wrestler. His ears are only subject to blows, hers are subject to humiliation.