How
can I parody a man who is shaped like a Goodyear blimp and looks like a parody
of a man? I mean Rob Ford, the crack-smoking mayor of Toronto and friend of
downtrodden drug dealers. How can I improve on his statement I don’t throw my friends under the bus?
Is that a kind of update on the biblical casting
pearls before swine?
How
can I spoof the incompetence of government employees when they beat me to it
with their glitch-prone US healthcare site? Can I be funnier than spokeswoman
Marilyn Tavenner, who apologized and promised to bring in a new infusion of talent (reuters.com)?
Oh no, please, Marilyn, we are still trying to cope with the first load of
talent. Tavenner, by the way, is a former nurse. I can just see her holding
your hand, as you lie on your deathbed after a botched operation: Don’t worry, dear. We’ll bring in a new
infusion of talent.
How
can I improve on the news of teenagers beginning to lose interest in Facebook
and Prof Neil Bearse’s profound analysis of the trend: Teenagers tend to stay
away from places when their parents,
teachers or potential employers show up (Globe 31 Oct). Oh, so you need a
doctorate and a chair in a School of Business to come up with that bit of
insight? How can I improve on Neil Bearse’s DUH statement?
Speaking
of Facebook: apparently it is now the provider of news for 78 percent of its
users. People go on to Facebook to share
personal moments, and they discover the news almost incidentally, as Amy
Mitchell of PEW explains. How can I beat that for satirical value?
I
can’t. So farewell to spoofing contemporary events. From now on my incredible
stories will be taken from bygone times. I have in mind something along the
lines of “facts are stranger than historical fiction.”
Yes,
friends, that’s my new motto. Future blog posts will feature rummelsincrediblestories from the past.
