The Lives of Politicians: Nicolas Sarkozy, Bev Oda, and Mayor Rob Ford.

You thought Obama had a tough life after using Jay-Z’s trademark gesture of brushing dirt off his shoulder and risking a copyright law suit, or Romney was in deep water after references to Hitler doing “one thing right”? No, Canadian politicians are worse off. Much, much worse.

Take Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. He has been ambushed on his own front lawn by aliens. It’s a good thing he called 911 and was rescued from what turned out not to be aliens after all, but the comedian Mary Walsh dressed up as Princess Warrior.

Next, he was accosted by a streetcar driver, who may have been naturally crabby or was one of those commies the mayor described as “two steps left of Stalin”  (http://www.torontosun.com/2012/01/24/mayor-ford-calls-council-foes-two-steps-left-of-stalin). Now it seems that Rob Ford is under attack from Higgs Boson, which keeps attaching mass to him. As every physicist understands, that leads to weight – over 300 pounds in Ford’s case. This in turn causes emotional problems, such as loss of self-respect, so that the Mayor now refers to himself as Rob-Fucking-Ford (http://www.torontolife.com/daily/informer/ford-focus/2011/10/27/rob-fucking-ford-berates-911-dispatchers/.