DEFINE THAT!

The language of newspapers has become so demanding lately that I had to consult on-line dictionaries. Let me share my findings with you.

Iconic. Rogers had a full page ad in the Globe (18 Sept) announcing the iconic new phone you’ve been waiting for. What – iconic already? On the day it hits the stores? Would that be iconic as in conventional and formulaic (the definition in freedictionary.com)? No, can’t be. Maybe they mean it’s a cultural icon which, according to the Wikipedia, represents the values, norms, and ideals of a group. What group? Rogers? Sorry, I’m not rah-rah enough about the company to pay for their icon. Unless of course they want to hire me. If they need a word checker, I promise to be seriously iconic with them.

Whisper. To speak softy for the sake of intrigue, or to speak privately to keep a secret (freedictionary.com). As in whisper jet, the aircraft Porter wants to use at its Toronto island airport? Hmm. Definitely too loud to be kept a secret. An intrigue against downtown condo dwellers perhaps?

World class. Ranking among the foremost in the world (freedictionary.com). Like En Famille Reserve Chardonnay? That’s what wine expert Beppi Crosariol calls the BC wine: world class. Did it win the International Wine Challenge or the Concours Mondial?  I checked. It won a bronze medal at the Riverside Wine Competition. More West Coast class than world class, if you ask me. In any case, I’m not sure my stomach is up to drinking something with a note of cold butter and charred pineapple. If that’s essential to achieving world class flavor, I’m afraid I’ll have to stick with inferior French wines.

But wait: I’ve been looking at the wrong dictionary. I should have consulted internetslang.com.

Nope, they don’t have definitions for iconic, whisper, or world class, but now I totes know everything about yummy mummy and futch. And it’s too good to share with you!