THE TREE AND HALF OF ME

 

L.A. 2024 AND ME

 

Anatsui at the Broad

At the back of LACMA

Me "seeing" the solar eclipse in LA

                                                    Iconic me in front of iconic LACMA installation

at *hAUSER & WIRTH: NOT A QUILT

 

AND ANOTHER KIND OF "QUILT" AT THE #BROAD:

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(15): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

Mainz, 28.3.39

My dear Gretel, thank you for your kind thoughts on this day. Oh, if only I was already out [of this life?] – I long so much for it. But no one asks about [my wishes], one has to suffer to the extreme end! You should know that, and [I am telling you now] only because I hope that it will not take much longer, or I would gladly have spared you for the time being. I suffer all the time, and all your prophesies of [the growth] stopping or similar developments, for which I myself have long waited like for the Messiah, are worth nothing. It would have been better if you had asked your clever physicians about medications that might help against the pain which gets worse with every day. Mind you, there is hardly any medication that Ernst [Emma’s doctor] hasn’t prescribed, who looks after me every week now. And since Saturday I also receive injections, which Sister Maria gives me …[illegible]. They make me very tired without helping me much. Today I went on strike. I wanted to write to you already in the morning while lying down, and after the injections I doze for hours. But today I was too tired, and now after my tea which always makes me feel a little better, I write to you immediately because I don’t know how I will feel over the next days and because I also must write to Lilly [Emma’s daughter in Buenos Aires] these days. I am bound to think a great deal about poor Julius [Gretel’s late husband], how much he had to suffer, how he lost weight and hardly had the will to eat anymore. I too am almost at that stage, for a long time now I have been terribly skinny, and most of the time I have to force myself to eat, but for certain reasons I want to hang on a little longer. But don’t come to me now – apart from the fact that you have no time, I no longer have a bed downstairs. The one upstairs in the attic is wrecked, and I returned Mrs. Achenbach’s bed to her. Gustel [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma’s uncle] is living at Mimi’s [Emma’s sister] now, that poor thing is homeless since Saturday and still has no idea when she can leave and where to go, presumably first to Manchester. It looks like it’s not going to work out in Latvia [where Milly had a textile factory]. Milly stayed at first with Berthe [Bertha Goetz, related to Milly’s husband] in London, and I think, she is also now in Manchester – has she not talked with you? I am sorry that Ernst’s [Gretel’s youngest son] hand is still taking a long time to heal, but I can’t understand it. Your physicians don’t seem to be very skilful. I am surprised that H. wants to build a new future so far away, as she did quite well so far making progress. I am very sorry that now, that you have your furniture, you are not using it and are renting a flat – it’s not about the money that I have to pay (that will happen as soon as Dr. Kraus has permission), but that you have to pay 15 Pounds there now. Surely Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] and Hans [Hans Juda, married to Gretel’s daughter Elsbeth] and Elsbeth too can manage that, and you can repay them later if they are in such need. There are many things in which I don’t understand you. For months you press me about your furniture and when you have it, you make difficulties for yourself. Don’t forget about Liebensteins [Emmas’s neighbours], they would like to know more details about you, and you won’t believe, how uncomfortable I am with that. This week a certain Mrs Lautner [?] was here twice, who wanted to have your address. She referred to a certain Mrs. Altschueler from Kaiserslauten, I believe, whom Julius [Gretel’s late husband] knew very well, and [talked] more such nonsense, and although I was in bed after the second injection, I asked her to come in, so I could [talk to her] myself. I said you are in the process of moving, I did not have an address for you, and why did she need it, etc. Of course it was about Woburn House [Jewish refuge centre aiding German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain], so I quickly got rid of her.  Tomorrow, after 5, I expect [a visit from] a gentleman from the local court for the purpose of a general power of attorney, valid also after my death. [It is] for my administrator, who will come along.  I already…

[The end of this letter is missing. Emma Neuman committed suicide on 3 April, 1939].

For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.

AFTER #KRISTALLNACHT(14): LETTERS TO MARGARETE GOLDSTEIN

 

 22.3. 1939

My dear Gretel, I just settled down to write to you, that is, stretched out on the chaise longue, as I always do in the morning -- earlier I had called Dr. Kr[aus], unfortunately to no purpose because you always tell me half of everything or less than half -- when Mrs. Liebenstein [Emma’s neighbour] arrived for a lengthy visit. She too had nothing pleasant to tell me. First about Dr. Kr[aus]: You tell me that your furniture is now at customs, for which I was very glad. As you write that everything is working out once I pay, I waited until this morning for a call from Dr. K. telling me to send the money. Then I called him myself, so I could write about it to you, and heard to my surprise that I need not look after anything, that you knew everything from him, from Br. and Roth etc., also the main thing – that the 15 Pounds must be paid there in foreign currency, as for sending the money to the company one first needs permission from the foreign currency office. Dr. K. is of the opinion, which I second, that it cannot be very difficult for you to have someone there pay the 80 Marks or lend them to you. Is Wolfgang [Gretel’s oldest son] not able to do so, or Turk [?] or whoever else there may be? And I cannot understand that you cannot find sufficient time for yourself, to rent a flat. After all that is also important, and mainly, let me advise you not to rent just a place for the summer now that it will soon be warm weather, but rather to think of winter, so that you will have a warm and comfortable place by then. You know how bad this winter was, and we had snow until yesterday and very cold temperatures. Mrs. Liebenstein was very indignant – I promised to report it to you. She wrote to you twice in five months, always with return postage, and you remained mum (she said). She has a very rich brother in Lugano [?], who will give full guarantees for her, and they also want to go to England and would like to know how much money they have to deposit and for how many years. I promised to write that to you, and perhaps you could write to her directly at Kaiserstasse 41 or write to me, and she will pick up the answer in eight days. It would be best if you told her about the office where she needs to apply. If you could do so, I personally would like it if you took care of her a little. She was not wrong to say: if one lives 30 years in a house, well, etc. To get back to your office affairs, may I ask: What do you mean when you say “Tell Oppenh[eimer] and the other relatives that I have nothing at all to do with Wob[urn] House”? [Woburn House was the Jewish Refugee Centre helping German and Austrian Jews to emigrate to Britain.] I know that very well and haven’t been asked for your address or anything else in a long time. Who is Oppenheimer? As far as I remember…Marianne [?] asked for your address. Are the Webers finally leaving you in peace? I haven’t heard from them in a long time. Mar.’s principle is to write to us only when she wants something, and Lilly v H [i.e. from Hanau?] didn’t even think of visiting me. Some time ago I wrote to you “I bet you ten to one, that you won’t guess who visited me” – since it is a riddle, put a “Dr.” in front, and you’ll solve it. That Lilly has an acquaintance in Hanau, you know as well as I do, you silly girl! Did you not at the time take my silverware along? [A decree of Feb 21 1939 required Jews to turn in gold, silver, and other valuables to the state without compensation.]  Otherwise, I don’t understand your doubts. Adele visited me yesterday morning and told me much that was of interest. After years of hesitation on B’s part, she and B intend to visit your hospitable island, but how long will it take [to realize that]? T. Georgi was here just now for an hour in the morning and brought me a very kind letter from Irmgard and a piece of Prinzregenten cake from the birthday [celebration]. Lieschen arrived safely in C[anada] with her party of five. Now, after my tea, I am sitting once again at my desk, expecting Mimi [Wilhelmine Bing, Emma’s sister] shortly, perhaps also Guste [Auguste Gutmann, married to Emma's uncle] and am sending you, my dear child, 1000 heartfelt greetings and kisses for today. Your devoted mother.

FOR MORE LETTERS SEE MY NEXT BLOGPOST. For the originals see LBI Archives AR 7167/MF 720.The translation is by Erika Rummel and Susi Lessing.