THE
PROMPOSAL or HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR NARRATIVE.
Until
recently, only royalty and Hollywood stars were in control of their image. We
saw and heard whatever their publicity managers fed to the media. Only their
nearest and dearest knew what was going on behind the scenes – the nip and tuck,
the screaming fights, the drunken bouts, the overdoses. But that was in prehistoric
times, circa Elvis Presley. Now the nearest and dearest are kept out of the
picture as well. Angelina Jolie’s father heard about her operation the same way
you and I did: through the media. He was
as surprised as anyone, according to telegraph.co.uk.
Ah,
the mediating media, channeled by Jolie. Only she knows who she is. Which makes
me wonder: Does she and her kids communicate via Twitter? Is the Brangelina duo
a cozy media construct? Do the two lovebirds have actual first-hand knowledge
of each other? Or do they just read the updates provided by their respective
publicity reps?
But
these are modern times, and even ordinary people want to control the narrative
of their lives. Formerly, if you had a
problem with substance abuse, you confessed it to your partner, or your shrink,
or your clergyman. Quaint, wasn’t it? Now you take your confession to a
publisher, and your partner can read your version of the events in the book. If
he has a different version, let him write his own book. In the last two months,
the confessions of two hard-drinking women hit the market with a best-selling
thunk: Jowita Bydlowska’s Drunk Mom
and Lauren Davis’ The Empty Room. So
if you feel a nervous breakdown coming on, or a desire for rehabilitation,
don’t waste a good story on your loved ones. I mean, what can they do for you? Take your story to the
media, and with any luck you’ll cash in on your misery.
Of
course, image control for ordinary folks isn’t entirely new. The 70s gave us
the Xeroxed Christmas letters, which let us all know exactly as much as the
writer wanted us to know about his/her innermost feelings: nothing, that is.
The Christmas brag & good news sheet has now been replaced by Facebook and
Twitter, which allows for by-the-minute updates and frequent polishing of your
image without requiring a copier or an expensive PR machine.
The
latest narrative to be controlled are prom dances. Whatever you do, DO NOT
sidle up to the girl of your choice in the cafeteria or try cornering her by
the locker to pop the question: Will you go to the prom with me? That method sucks.
It gives you no control over where the conversation will go or the spin she’ll
put on it later when she talks to her girlfriends. No, remember that going to
the prom is the climax of your coming of age story. You need to take control of
that narrative by going public with your PROMPOSAL. Say it with a balloon-covered
hallway or a rose strewn path to her house, or deliver the message via a flash
mob. And of course document it on YouTube. Fix that narrative for eternity!
Abigail
Pugh (The Star, May 26) explains it all to us. People prefer Facebook and
carefully staged YouTube performances because it allows them to edit and retouch. You choose your
identity like soup du jour and change it depending on your conversation
partner. So much easier than face-to-face interaction. And safer, too.
Hmm,
is that why I’m blogging?
