Friday, 10 April 2020


MY #COV19 #ADVICE IS BETTER THAN YOURS





Believe me and read on. Here’s for



THE TECHNOPHOBE. You hate ZOOM? Think soothing thoughts of the pre-online age, when

-you had to use white-out to correct your typos

-when you had to adjust the settings on your camera, when your father-in-law ruined every family gathering by demanding you drop whatever little fun you were having and freeze-smile while he adjusted the setting on his camera

-when the letter you sent to Austria was returned “Addressee unknown” because it was routed to Australia by mistake.

-when it took your insurance company ages to reply to your query by snail mail – oh wait, it still takes ages, except now you can listen to an instant message assuring you that you are a valuable customer.



THE ANXIETY RIDDEN. Think about your past anxieties – how trivial they seem today! Remember when you bellyached about unimportant things like bad-hair days? —oh wait, you still do.



THE HYPOCHONDRIAC. Remember when you worried quite unnecessarily about every little cough? No, forget I said that. Keep worrying. Neurotics live longer than carefree people anyway -- unless their ulcers kill them first.



THE DAREDEVIL. Enjoy the unprecedented opportunities!

-Sit on park benches.

-Race up the Don Valley now that you can and defy the speeding ticket!

-Visit an emergency room and read a magazine someone has left behind. Do not wear a mask or your reading glasses. Keep your nose really close to the page and breathe in the air left behind by the last patient.



SEE I TOLD YOU MY ADVICE IS BETTER THAN YOURS.

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